It’s been a while since “Shit My Dad Says” was the hottest feed on Twitter, but did you know that plenty of fathers still use the service, day in and day out, to relate their (mis)adventures in parenting? Welcome to #DadTwitter, where embarrassment is an art, a crushing sense of responsibility pervades all, and the kids can’t hear you curse, thank god.
Standing behind trees with a toddler who refuses to unhand his own wang, both covered in urine, as passerby look querulously to his yawps.
— Paul Ford (@ftrain) June 10, 2014
This is your annual reminder that “preschool graduation” is not a thing. Thank you.
— delrayser (@delrayser) June 13, 2014
I’m writing a niche children’s book called “Nine Little Fingers and Seven Little Toes” #dadtwitter
— Elon (@elongreen) May 15, 2014
Yesterday I learned that slandering Sir Topham Hatt is an excellent way to unlock a cascade of favorites from #dadtwitter
— Peter Berkes (@peterberkes) February 27, 2014
my kid just informed me he doesn’t trust trucks
— ^ (@meat_tornado_) June 15, 2014
It’s my day off but I’m still up at 7AM. #dadtwitter
— /r/Alfie (@AlfieBCC) June 12, 2014
whenever my kid is being grouchy in the morning i just bust out my tony clifton impression
— 000___000 (@000___000) June 15, 2014
Things I’ve seen on Twitter this Saturday morning: flip phones, lawn care, and changing babies. You can’t escape becoming #DadTwitter
— Uncle Spam (@IAmSpilly) April 12, 2014
— Rusty Foster (@rustyk5) June 11, 2014
I take my wedding ring off when I get in the shower because that’s Me Time #dadtwitter
— Uncle Man (@unqualifiedman) June 14, 2014
She’s seen “Frozen” so many times, now she’s watching it upside down. New experience I guess pic.twitter.com/KdfE1zbfwW
— David Teicher (@Aerocles) June 14, 2014
— Steve (@kaczynski) June 14, 2014
Just told my son he had his shoes on backwards… so he crossed his legs #problemsolved
— Tally Hall (@tallyhallGK) June 15, 2014
My six year old daughter ate three hardboiled eggs, so my house, tonight, is where the world is ending.
— ADadABeardACanal (@DadBeard) June 14, 2014
Naturally, we wanted to ask Twitter’s Top Dads™ what they loved most about being a part of this online community. Their exhausted, sarcastic answers are #DadTwitter at its finest.
— Paul Ford (@ftrain) June 13, 2014
— Jacob Harris (@harrisj) June 13, 2014
— David Teicher (@Aerocles) June 13, 2014
— Elon (@elongreen) June 13, 2014
— Andrew Hickey (@andrewmhickey) June 13, 2014
We here at the Daily Dot would like to wish these dynamic dads a wonderful Father’s Day, with all the macaroni-studded cards and backyard grilling that entails. When your children are done paying you lip service, we’ll be here waiting for more of that cuddly cynicism and disarming sincerity you do so well. Plus the dad jokes. Please never stop with those.
Happy Fathers Day! I’ll be celebrating it tonight like all good Dads – by completely ignoring my kid to watch the World Cup.
— (@Daleington9) June 15, 2014