If you’re in a relationship with a man, try this fun little exercise: Look at your man. Now back to us.
Picture your man as a seething ball of barely concealed annoyance just pretending to like that thing you like, so he can get laid later on.
Now back to your man.
We wish we were kidding, but the latest site survey from eHarmony reveals that men who use the dating website are uninterested in women whose hobbies include “using the computer,” “volunteering,” “reading,” “watching TV,” and “going to the movies.” In short, men hate women whose hobbies include anything other than having sex with men.
In an otherwise broad look at the “science of digital dating,” the Sydney Morning Herald snuck in this bombshell from eHarmony’s own research on its users. An eagle-eyed Twitter user took a screengrab of this finding from the Herald‘s report, which subsequently went viral.
According to an online dating survey: biggest turn off for men? A woman who helps others, enjoys books & films pic.twitter.com/zC4BOPNWpZ— Holly Throsby (@hollythrosby) February 14, 2015
We already knew, thanks to a previously reported OKCupid survey, that men on online dating websites primarily want to date women between the ages of 20 and 22, regardless of how old the men themselves are.
But now, we can add these charming facts to our picture of the average dating website dude:
- His No. 1 turnoff in a potential romantic partner is “using the computer.”
- His No. 2 turnoff is “volunteering,” followed by No. 3, “reading.”
Let’s talk about these “turnoffs” for a second, starting with numero uno, “using a computer.” Presumably, if you’re a dude on a dating website, you used a computer, or some variant thereof, to get to that dating website. Yet you then proceed to say you’re turned off by people who also use computers, even though presumably, they, too, used a computer in order to find you on the Internet. Makes sense, dude.
Let’s move on to the second item, “volunteering,” otherwise known as “that thing people do when they want to help other people.” A charitable spirit is a rare quality on the Internet, let alone in real life. We’re not sure why it would turn you off to think that your partner wants to make the world a better place, but we’re sure we’ll be hearing from lots of men in the comments who’ll explain their reasoning to us in great detail.
Speaking to the Sydney Morning Herald about these results, dating site marketing director Kari Taylor tactfully said, “What we know about dating is that what people say they want, and what people really want, are very different in practice.”
But the truth is, the men listed those specific turnoffs for a reason. When women read, watch a movie, or surf the Internet, it’s a solitary activity, which means they’re not focusing on their partner’s wants or needs. It’s possible that men find women who enjoy independent activities threatening, simply because these activities don’t involve them.
But we have some advice for these men: Instead of getting annoyed by your partner watching TV or using the computer or even (God forbid!) volunteering by herself, try to embrace the fact that your partner has interests outside of their relationship. If you do that, maybe you can even figure out how to enjoy watching TV or volunteering with them, instead of letting these activities alienate you. After all, that’s what women have been doing with men for centuries.