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When you’re a person who looks at things online—and if you’re reading this, you’re one of those people!—there’s always the chance you’ll stumble upon a thing you wish you’d never seen. On Saturday, that thing was a Cosmopolitan blogger fantasizing about the sexting convos of your favorite animated Disney characters, as promoted in this very gross tweet:
Actually, the post went live on Aug. 3, though it seems the magazine didn’t give it a Twitter boost till this weekend, at which point everybody who saw it asked, in one way or another, why the hell it existed in the first place. Who would have thought that two of the internet’s favorite topics—Disney nostalgia and wanton horniness—couldn’t be combined for clicks?
— Maximillion Gibson (@Jawnikowski) October 15, 2016
Oh, well. At least they tried! And while we refuse to read the piece itself, there’s simply no way it’s as bad as the last Disney porn Cosmo published.
Yeesh. I’m gonna have to masturbate to real people just to feel clean again.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'