While most of us casually sip away on regular ol’ cow milk like normal people, bodybuilders are reportedly flocking to a more direct source of nutrition: human breast milk.
According to WABC-TV New York, bodybuilding bros believe that breast milk has more protein than the standard supermarket quart of milk. So they’re buying the substance in bulk and adding it to their protein shakes.
“You hear everything: testosterone, gorilla hormones,” Crossfitter Austin Mariglia told WZZM 13 about the trend. “People are willing to go overboard on just trying to be bigger and be better.”
Because these dudes obviously can’t procure breast milk by going up to rando pregnant ladies and demanding to know if they’re lactating, they’re turning to online forums like Only The Breast and Eats on Feets, where they can buy fresh breast milk from new moms for as much as a dollar per ounce.
While classifieds websites like Craigslist forbid the sale of human body fluids, moms can find willing buyers on there as well, with one woman named saying she’s selling more than 70 ounces of breast milk. The woman, Lisa Carbonneau, says she’s even gotten offers from outside vendors looking to help her with her business. “I actually got one text, it says, ‘Do you have fresh milk available? I’ve been paying $4 per ounce to single moms to help out, $3 otherwise, if interested,’” she told MyFoxDetroit.com.
But the question remains: Is drinking unsourced breast milk actually better for you than drinking plain old cow milk? The consensus in the medical community is pretty much a firm “no” on that one. Pediatrician Dr. Lana Gagin told WZZM 13 that it could even be dangerous, citing a study of 100 human breast milk samples that found that some of the samples were contaminated with bacteria.
“There is nothing in breast milk that can be of benefit to a healthy adult, or there is nothing in breast milk that would enhance your physical performance,” she told WZZM 13.
You heard it here first, meatheads: Chugging the breast milk of strange ladies you met on Craigslist is probably stupid and pointless. We didn’t think we needed to tell you that, but then again, if this now-canonical bodybuilding.com argument about how many days there are in a week is any indication, we’re not exactly dealing with intellectual giants here.