When was the last time you heard anyone say something negative about Beyoncé? That’s right: You haven’t. But it’s not because America suddenly found the one pop diva everyone can agree on; this is an artificial consensus, brutally enforced by a cabal known as the Beygency.

That’s according to the best sketch on last night’s Andrew Garfield-hosted episode of Saturday Night Live, anyway. Committing the faux pas of critiquing “Drunk in Love” in his own living room, Garfield must go on the run from men tasked with eliminating the slightest anti-Beyoncé sentiment. Along the way, he’ll meet a few unlikely Rihanna fans who may be able to help. 

Man, if I was wary of expressing a nuanced opinion on the Queen Bey phenomenon before, you can bet I’ll keep it to myself from now on. (Still perfectly safe to diss Jay Z, of course.)

Photo via HumanSlinky/Dailymotion