Mandatory writer Rob Fee created a fake account to troll potential suiters online.
The fact that some men are desperate for female companionship is not exactly groundbreaking. But just how desperate are these desperate men? One man went to find out.
Inspired by a friend’s attempt at online matchmaking, Mandatory writer Rob Fee decided to sign up for his very own OKCupid account. But rather than set up a profile for himself, Fee wanted to explore the digital dating world from the other side of the gender gap.
“[My friend] was constantly telling me about all the bizarre and pathetic lines guys try to use on her via instant message,” Fee writes. “She would very blatantly shoot them down and yet they would continue to message her.” Intrigued, Fee devised an experiment to see just “how far guys would go to get a date or a hook-up.”
As it turns out — very.
With the help of a cute female friend’s photo, Fee was halfway home. All he needed now was an irretrievably off-putting bio to truly put his subjects’ dignity to the test.
“I wanted to make this so idiotic and unappealing that no one in their right mind would show interest in this girl,” Fee says. “If you are hitting on her after reading her profile you have no interest in anything intellectual whatsoever.”
Here are just two poignant excerpts (sic throughout):
My self-summary: Well I’m jsut me! Self tought and self made lol. A lot of preple go threw every day like plastick bags (katy parry) but i live them to teh fullest i love dancing (krumping & interpretetive are my passions) but i feel that it was ruined by blaks and now asiens. Not racist at all just dont like what danceing has become. If you are a cool guy and love chili and art we will get alonge great!
I’m really good at: ipods!
It gets much, much worse, but suffice it to say this girl isn’t the one.
That didn’t seem to matter to 39 guys who messaged Fee within six hours of the profile being up on the site. Fee remained sympathetic, reasoning that “they just saw a cute girl and went for it” without reading the bio.
Fair enough. But that notion was quickly quashed once he actually started exchanging messages with these five-and-dime Casanovas.
Some of the suitors get credit for cutting off all communication once they “realized they were dealing with an idiot/sociopath,” but the others… Well, here’s one fairly representative exchange (click to expand), but make sure to read the rest.
And then tender your resignation from humanity.
Pure, uncut internet. Straight to your inbox.