These 17 first date “vibe check” questions help reveal someone’s real personality

Human interactions and how we get to know people at first meeting can be tricky and complicated. Throw in a situation like a first date to the mix, and getting a feel for the other person is more stressful, though that doesn’t need to be the case.

Redditor u/notty_potter asked the folks of the r/AskReddit subreddit, “What’s your go-to first date question to get a vibe check on someone?”

People in the subreddit were quick to share their insights and first date questions, from who their favorite Pokémon is to coming up with creative ways to ask what someone’s hobbies are, but putting a spin on it to make the question more interesting and engaging. Not everyone liked first date questions, either, with a number of Redditors complaining that those sorts of small talk questions feel more like a job interview than a date.

Check out 18 of the best go-to vibe check questions according to Redditors below.

1. “What’s your go-to activity on a day off?”

—u/WhataboutBombvoyage

2. “What’s something you’re passionate about outside of work or school?’”

“It usually gets people to open up in a real way.” —u/Separate-Simple-5101

3. “What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?”

“If their eyes light up when they answer, that’s a good sign” —u/SockDiplomat 

4. “What’s your current project?”

“Met a guy one time (not a date, just chatting with another dude) and he asked me my favorite question. So I got to explain what I’ve been working on with my motorcycle. You could probably phrase it differently for a date, current obsession, currently working on, etc, etc. It was an easy way to get me to start talking about something I care about.

It’s hard when someone just says ‘What are your hobbies?’ That’s hard because I have a lot, and they all require explanation. Like I can tell you, but you’re gonna have to take notes.” —u/OxycontinEyedJoe

5. “What music have you been listening to a lot lately?”

“I do the same, and with the music question, too. I hate when people ask the general ‘what kind of music do you listen to?’ because I have no idea how to answer that one, and it stresses me out. My music is so varied it’s hard to pick answers I think would give them any actual idea of what my taste is. So I like to ask first, ‘What music have you been listening to a lot lately?’ or something like that, because it’s easier for a person to answer without needing to think of how to express the totality of their taste in one answer. We can get into the rest of it if the convo flows there, which it usually does. Same with the hobbies bit.” —u/Zenki_s14 

6. “What’s your body count?”

“A girl asked me what my body count was, and I told her 1, but it was in self-defense. We’re engaged now.” —u/PieceCompetitive6824

7. “What does your perfect day look like?”

“When I was dating, my favorite question was always ‘describe your perfect day.’ it gives enormous insight into their personal traits, habits, and interests.” —u/orange_cuse 

8. “What’s something you’ve unlearned as you’ve gotten older?”

“It always leads to deeper conversations and you instantly see if they’ve done any self-reflection or if they’re still stuck blaming everyone else.” —u/SweetnSourScarlett

9. “What’s your favorite cereal?”

“Always tells me so much about them.” —u/somuches

10. “Do your kids still talk to you?”

—u/RiskyGorilla309 

11. “Do you like animals? What ones?”

“Anyone who is anti-animal, I’ve had negative experiences with. I’ve had lots of ‘Oh, I wish. I’m allergic’ and ‘I like them, but I don’t want to own one,’ and those are fine. But straight up ‘oh I hate pets’ makes me wonder if they lack empathy.” —u/coniferous-1

12. “How do you spend your Sundays?”

“It tells me a lot about their vibe without feeling like an interview.” —u/Aggravating_Soup4160

13. “What are your non-negotiables?”

“I asked about his expectations from a partner and what his non-negotiables were. I wanted to see if his expectations of the person he dated were as high as mine.” —u/Ok_Condition3334

14. “What podcasts do you listen to?”

“Ask the fellas what podcasts they listen to. What fictional character from movies, TV, books, etc, do you identify with most?” —u/notaname420xx

15. “Who’s your favorite superhero?”

“I like to ask who their favourite superhero is. It’s a fun question, not too nerdy due to the mainstream success of the Marvel Universe, and gives me a chance to argue with people who don’t say Wolverine.” —u/Corgalas

16. “What’s your most controversial opinion?”

“It can get people to show their true colors real quick.” —u/SnorkaSound

17. “What’s your favorite Pokémon?”

—u/Pantiesandsecrets

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