A TikTok creator has sparked a wave of recognition among single women after calling out what she sees as an unequal dynamic in modern female friendships.
Ashanti, a 36-year-old advocate for single women, argued in a Nov. 4 video that married women often expect unwavering support, showing up for weddings, baby showers, and children’s milestones, while rarely investing the same energy into their single friends’ achievements.
She pointed out, “Rarely, if ever, do married women really allocate time and investment into their single friends’ life events, whether that’s a promotion, a career move, a moving home, travelling, any other achievement that isn’t related to a man; isn’t related to procreation.”
The content creator’s POV resonated with single women on TikTok who feel neglected, misunderstood, and overburdened by their married friends. People reached out to Ashanti with gratitude for sharing her take on a dynamic many single women suffer through in silence.
“Single and child-free women have to sacrifice for the « community » but the community never gives back.”
“Single women in your life are not just disposable accessories.”
In her video, Ashanti explained, “For some reason, single women are expected to forgive their married female friends for anything. We’re meant to be understanding, ever available, ever accessible…”
She went on to discuss how single women can act as surrogate boyfriends and quasi-therapists to women in emotionally unfulfilled relationships. But a self-centered married woman is often “too busy” to offer emotional support in return. Ashanti said, “Quite frankly, there’s too many excuses being made—that they’re so occupied, so busy…”
“Single women in your life are not just disposable accessories,” she asserted. “Just because we might not be married, just because we might not be occupied with motherhood necessarily—it doesn’t mean we’ve got endless free time whereby you can pick and choose if you want to call.”
@unpunishablewoman Do married women invest in their single female friends?
♬ original sound – Ashanti | Unpunishable Woman
Single women in the comments agreed they’re doing more than their share
Ashanti’s video racked up nearly 280,000 views and over 1500 comments on TikTok. The comments showed that many women have experienced changes in their friendships after becoming wives and mothers.
“I’m 1000% the emotional support for my married friends because their husbands can’t support them in that way.”
“It’s like they think ‘single’ means nothing ever happens in our life and we’re just sitting around doing nothing and have no obligations.”
“And we’re not ‘allowed’ to be tired. Because how can we be really tired when we don’t have kids. 🙄”
“They will abandon you at every turn for that man and expect you to pick up the pieces when they finally wake up & divorce him 💀.”
“Bachelorette party. Wedding. Gender reveal. Baby. It’s exhausting.”
Ashanti, @unpunishablewoman, did not immediately reply to the Daily Dot’s request for comment via TikTok.
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