A ship with shipping containers.

Corona Borealis Studio/Shutterstock (Licensed)

Yes, there’s already erotic fanfic about the ship that got stuck in the Suez Canal

Rule 34 is alive and well.

 

Siobhan Ball

Internet Culture

Published Mar 29, 2021   Updated Mar 29, 2021, 5:12 pm CDT

Since the Ever Given cargo ship got stuck in the Suez Canal last week, it’s been an internet shitposting free-for-all. The ship was successfully freed on Monday, after six days. But people are still consuming memes and other media about the ship—and that includes erotic fanfic.

"evergiven container ship x suez canal fanfic showing up on my tumblr dash is the final straw y’all ... i have had ENOUGH" screenshots of some of the pics
I have just been informed that there’s already Suez Canal/That Boat fanfic on AO3 & I’d honestly expect nothing less
Ever Given/Suez Canal is now an AO3 tag with multiple fics and all I can say is “God bless fandom, never has it shipped more literally.”  Soon may the fanfic come, To bring us fluff and angst and fun, With fic the tonguin’ will never be done We take ideas and run

Blame Chuck Tingle and his revolutionary romance genre of sentient inanimate objects pounding each other in the butt, or just the Millennial and now Gen Z love of absurdist humour, but Suez Canal/Ever Given fic is out there and it is multiplying.

"WHO IS WRITING FANFIC ABOUT THE SUEZ CANAL" screenshot from AO3 showing the number of fics in the category
@jeoprdystan4eva/Twitter
reading suez canal/ever given fanfic just to feel something
imagine learning about A/B/O because some Suez Canal/Ever Given fanfic wound up on your timeline

With 102 and counting entries on Archive of Our Own (AO3), ranging from hardcore BDSM to imitation Rupi Kaur poetry, there’s bound to be something for everyone’s highly cursed tastes. There’s even a sea shanty. And so much A/B/O fic.

Waves of Desire by voxpraxis Fandoms:Maritime RPF Mature Graphic Depictions Of Violence Multi Complete Work 28 Mar 2021 Tags Graphic Depictions Of ViolenceSuez Canal/Ever GivenSuez Canal/Russian Warship 545Suez Canal (Anthropomorphic)Ever Given Container Ship (Anthropomorphic)Russian Warship 545 (Anthropomorphic)Love TrianglesInfidelityInternational Trade RelationsProblematic ShipsAbusive RelationshipsSexual AssaultDDLGcrackficwattpad style Summary Suez has been feeling really stuck in her toxic relationship with Ever lately and she's getting desperate... then she meets someone new. But everything comes to standstill when Ever realizes something's up.
Knot in the Canal by Depraved Necromancer (DragonaireAbsolvare) Fandoms:Maritime RPF   Explicit No Archive Warnings Apply Other Complete Work 26 Mar 2021 Tags No Archive Warnings ApplyEver Given Container Ship/Suez Canal (Anthropomorphic)Ever Given Container Ship (Anthropomorphic)Suez Canal (Anthropomorphic)Excavator at Suez Canal (Anthropomorphic)SmutFilthyShameless SmutShipping the ShipAlpha/Beta/Omega DynamicsAlpha/OmegaABOVoyeurismThe Suez Canal is a SlutAlpha Ever GivenFuckgirl Ever GivenPublic SexDom/subKnottingCockblockingPlot What Plot/Porn Without PlotMating BondMarking Summary #Alpha ship knotted the ground Say no more. Blame Tumblr. And Discord.  Series Part 2 of A Very Problematic Ship
the suez and her flowers by comrade_valerie Fandoms:Maritime RPF   General Audiences No Archive Warnings Apply No category Complete Work 29 Mar 2021 Tags No Archive Warnings ApplyEver Given Container Ship/Suez Canal (Anthropomorphic)Excavator at Suez Canal (Anthropomorphic)Suez Canal (Anthropomorphic)Ever Given Container Ship (Anthropomorphic)Russian Warship 545Suez Canal - Freeformrupi kaurBoats and ShipsCurrent EventsEven Given Summary boat stuck the memes are so funny  i'm dying it's dummy thicc  it's so funny idk why  it's sending me i'm in the stratosphere  i hope they don't get it out for weeks  -rupi kaur poems about the situation

Reactions have been mixed, with some delighted, some disturbed, and some simply unable to cope at this latest bizarre development in the pandemic timeline.

I just learned there is Ever Given/Suez Canal fanfic and I'm not sure how to feel, except that I think I ship this shipping ship ship.
just found out there’s.. x rated fanfic.. about the ship stuck in the suez canal...... that’s enough social media for the day!
i just saw a suez canal fanfic i can’t process that rn

However, it’s not all just surreal, porny humor. Strangely, or perhaps not so strangely to people familiar with young, nerdy leftists, there’s a lot of anti-capitalist satire in amongst the masturbatory weirdness and high drama, anthropomorphic crack fanfic. Some of it might even be… good?

The Ridiculous Ritual by TheChaosChimaera Fandoms:The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Maritime RPF Teen And Up Audiences Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings M/M Complete Work 28 Mar 2021 Tags Creator Chose Not To Use Archive WarningsEver Given Container Ship/Suez Canal (Anthropomorphic)Charity (OC)Ever Given Container Ship (Anthropomorphic)Suez Canal (Anthropomorphic)Minor Magnus SpoilersMinor Fear EntitySummoning RitualsJust two regular objects falling in loveHugsCapitalismEating the rich Summary Magnus archives tale about one of the minor fears Robert Smirke didn’t bother to catalogue and the ritual used to summon them
Steel and Storm by for_darkness_shows_the_stars Fandoms:Maritime RPF General Audiences No Archive Warnings Apply F/F Complete Work 26 Mar 2021 Tags No Archive Warnings ApplyEver Given Container Ship/Suez Canal (Anthropomorphic)Ever Given Container Ship (Anthropomorphic)Suez Canal (Anthropomorphic)the greatest love story ever toldCrackThey are lesbiansand very much in lovewhat if we hugged ... and put a stop to 12 percent of the world's trade in the process Summary Theirs is not a love gentle stories will be told about. Theirs is not a romance, theirs is not a tragedy. That is not their legacy.

It’s a weird, unsettling thing to behold, but these are unsettling times. Maybe satirical pornography featuring an oversized cargo ship and one of the world’s major shipping lanes is the Modest Proposal our late Capitalist dystopia deserves.

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*First Published: Mar 29, 2021, 4:09 pm CDT