‘The System Literally Holds You Hostage’: Mississippi Won’t Grant a Divorce Without Proof of Adultery if One Spouse Refuses

An X post from @DesireeAmerica4 shared a video from TikTok creator @nursehadley, the third installment in a series about her divorce, in which she says her Mississippi lawyer told her that learning her husband had a girlfriend wasn't enough to grant her a divorce.

The TikToker said she called her lawyer after learning her husband had a girlfriend who had met their children and appeared to be living with him. "This definitely means the judge is gonna give me a divorce now, right?" she recalled thinking. Her lawyer then asked whether her husband would agree to a divorce — which she said he refused.

Her lawyer told her that suspicion alone was not sufficient. "You need proof. You need photos of them together. You need videos," the lawyer said, suggesting she hire a private investigator. She initially thought he was joking, but apparently not.

Mississippi law does require both spouses to agree before a no-fault divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences can be granted, according to the Mississippi Bar. If one spouse refuses, the other must prove one of twelve fault-based grounds, including adultery, with clear and convincing evidence.

The TikToker also said her lawyer warned her that she could not date anyone else until the divorce was finalized without risking an adultery accusation herself, a process she said could take two to three years.

She waited about a week before deciding, "This is stupid," and began dating someone roughly six months later. That relationship was later used against her in court, with her texts subpoenaed and her boyfriend called to testify.

One commenter pointed to a legal option specific to the state, writing, "But in Mississippi, you're in the only state where you can sue his mistress for alienation of affection." Though the commenter described Mississippi as the only state with alienation of affection laws, several other states including North Carolina recognize similar legal action.

The X user wrote in the caption of the video, "Do not get married in the state of Mississippi. This woman is living through a nightmare right now as she explains. The system literally holds you hostage."

Other replies questioned the need for marriage licensing by state. One person wrote, "Why did ANYONE ever think they had to ask and pay the state for permission to get married? Am I the only one with critical thinking skills?"

Another argued the situation reflects a need for more legal preparation before marriage. "Nobody thinks of these state issues of any kind before getting married and having kids," they wrote. "People change. Prenups should be standard in all marriage licenses. Divorce is a big business."

The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the personal story described in this TikTok video, including the specifics of the creator's legal proceedings. The details above reflect the creator's account as shared on TikTok. General information about Mississippi divorce law was supplemented by reporting from the Mississippi Bar.