A stay-at-home mom found out the hard way about the risks of relying on a man without any income of her own, sharing the lesson on TikTok. She’s 37 with two kids, and seemingly out of the blue, her husband asked for a divorce and said he’s cutting off her credit card.
With no experience in anything other than caring for her home and children, this mom is “terrified.”
What to do when the breadwinner leaves
TikToker Courtney (@cortneygetsfit) has spent the last couple years sharing her weight loss journey with her followers. Then, over the weekend, she shared that her life is taking a dramatic turn into the unknown.
“I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for the past 10 plus years,” she said. “I have no income, I have no money. I use my husband’s credit card and I use my husband’s money.”
@cortneygetsfit I never thought I’d be here. 37 years old. Two kids. No income. No safety net. And suddenly being told I need to ‘use my own card’ when I don’t even HAVE one. This is the reality for so many stay-at-home moms — and nobody prepares us for it. Maybe this is why I’ve been drowning in anxiety and depression. But I’m sharing it because too many of us are suffering in silence. If you’re going through something similar, you’re not alone. We deserve security. We deserve support. We deserve to feel safe starting over. #sahm #womenempowerment #divorcesupport #mentalhealthmatters #momsoftiktok @Cortney Gets Fit ♬ original sound – Cortney Gets Fit
“Two weeks ago, he told me that he wants to move forward with divorce.”
Courtney has been using an American Express card for all of her expenses, including for her kids, which her husband pays for. He now says he won’t pay those bills anymore, and she has to switch to her own card.
“What card?” she asked the camera. “I don’t have a card. That is my card!”
The mother of two repeatedly spoke on how scared she is, not knowing how she will take care of herself or her children. In a follow-up video, she said her husband is letting her stay in his house (he didn’t put her name on the deed) for now, but she still has no idea how she’ll pay for food and other necessities.
@cortneygetsfit Thank God he’s letting me live in his house. 🙏🏼🙏🏼 No one warns women what can happen when you give up your income to raise kids. This isn’t about blaming anyone. This is about telling the truth so another woman doesn’t end up here scared and alone. You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re not failing. You just weren’t prepared — because no one prepared us.” Save this post to come back to. Get independent ladies!! Part 1- @Cortney Gets Fit #divorce #support #startingover #motherhood #tiktok ♬ original sound – Cortney Gets Fit
“This is the reality for so many stay-at-home moms—and nobody prepares us for it,” she wrote. “Maybe this is why I’ve been drowning in anxiety and depression.”
Courtney shares this fate with many who fell into the “tradwife” trend that demands women give up gainful employment to be full time moms and caretakers of the home. With nothing to put on their resumes and little to no support from husbands who no longer find them attractive, some now struggle in poverty as single moms.
“I watched my mom go through this”
As refusing employment in favor of chasing an illusion of a white 1950s lifestyle became trendy, feminists shouted warnings about why their movement needed to exist in the first place. When husbands leave, pass away, or are so awful that the wife has to flee, trying to find work with an empty resume and kids in tow is a harrowing experience.
Commenters on Courtney’s TikTok videos are reissuing these warnings.
“I watched my mom go through this and swore I’d never follow in her footsteps,” said @ricasuave36. “When my husband asked me to be a SAHM I refused and continued to work… he cheated on me and I was able to walk away & provide for my kids. I don’t regret it at all.”
“This is why women are more likely to end up homeless or needing social assistance,” wrote @thegooliachronicles. “Not because they’re lazy—but because they were put in financially vulnerable positions with no protection.”
“Feminism isn’t about ‘career girl power.’ It’s about making sure women aren’t destroyed by something totally predictable: life happening.”
“Feminists have been screaming this for a century”
Over on r/TikTokCringe, those who remember history echoed these sentiments.
“I come from a family of matriarchs,” claimed u/Tall-Introduction649. “Going back to my grandmother born in the 1910’s she went to college and was the earner for her family.”
“Every single one of these women drilled into me you NEVER rely on anyone financially it doesn’t matter if it’s a man or someone else. You have your own money you have your own way out.”
“Feminists have been screaming this for a century,” said u/NaziPunksFkOff. “You just convinced yourself that feminism was blue hair and nose rings so now we’re backsliding into the exact circumstances that made it necessary in the first place.”
The Daily Dot has reached out to @cortneygetsfit for comment via TikTok.
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