Man Said He Was Accused of Ruining a Group Trip by Cleaning Up Dishes and Going on a Solo Hike — His Friends Stopped Talking to Him

A post to r/AmItheAsshole asks whether a man was wrong for his behavior during a group cabin trip after friends accused him of being rude and "killing the vibe" by cleaning up and going on a solo hike. The post had gathered over 9,300 upvotes and 1,600 comments as of publication.

The original poster and his wife had joined three other couples, all in their 30s, at a cabin for a long weekend, and had been friends since high school. He wrote, "The first night was fine. We made dinner and had some drinks. I don't really drink, but I still had a good time." He went to bed around midnight while the rest of the group continued drinking through "a case and a half of beers."

He woke at 7 a.m. to find three people asleep on couches and dirty dishes scattered around. He cleaned up and made himself breakfast quietly, writing that his wife slept late and he was "used to being quiet in the mornings."

Around 11 a.m., one couple accused him of being "really rude" for making breakfast only for himself and claimed he had been noisy while others slept on the couch, to which he replied, "I'm being quiet, but they have rooms they could have slept in," before going to shower.

The group later discussed a planned hike that needed to start by early afternoon to finish before the park closed, but by 2 p.m. the group had started drinking again and the hike never happened. He wrote, "I wasn't an unwilling participant in this or upset about this," and the group repeated the same behavior of cooking, drinking, and leaving dishes that night.

The next morning, he again woke at 7 a.m. and decided to go on a solo hike and stop at a diner on his way back, returning to find everyone still asleep. When he began cleaning again around 11 a.m., one woman told him, "Can you stop that? You're being really rude to everyone and killing the vibe," and her husband added that the poster should have invited the group on his hike and to the diner, and that his cleaning made others "feel like slobs." No one else spoke to him after that, but the group stared at him "as if waiting for […] an apology or something."

The poster later asked his wife whether the group had said anything about him or thought he was being rude, and she told him neither was true. The tension continued through the rest of the trip, and he and his wife left a day early, with his wife telling the group she wasn't sleeping well. He wrote that the group chat "has been silent since."

Commenters largely defended the poster's behavior. One wrote, "I've met more 30-50 year olds that act like children than I have 20-25 year olds, it's very irritating and sad to see at the same time," adding that they personally would ask to be woken up to help rather than get upset about someone cleaning alone.

Another suggested the group's reaction stemmed from feeling exposed by the poster's independence. They wrote, "It sounds like the friends took offense because OP is just too independent and self assured and it kind of exposed their lack of efforts during the trip. So they turned it around and blame him instead."

A different commenter shared a personal comparison involving a friend who also cleaned up at gatherings. They wrote, "I knew a woman who would clean up and do dishes at the end of any party she went to. Far from getting mad I'd take her cue and start helping to clean up too. It seems ridiculous to me to get angry at someone taking the initiative to help."

This article is based on a post shared in r/AmItheAsshole on Reddit. The Daily Dot could not independently verify the events described. The account reflects only the original poster's perspective; the other couples' accounts were not available.