A TikTok from creator @motherphyllis is reigniting a generational debate about Baby Boomer parenting support—or rather, the lack thereof. In her March 8 video, overlaid with text reading ‘Lines absent Boomer grandparents say,’ Phyllis laments how her Boomer parents and in-laws are barely present in their grandchildren’s lives. The video was met with a pretty solid 50/50 split in opposing reactions; Many millennial parents related to absent Boomers, while others argued the problem is more personal rather than generational.
The video aligns with a millennial perspective exploring frustration with their own parent’s lack of involvement as ‘absent boomer grandparents.’ Many millennials (adults currently in their 30s and 40s) have memories of being cared for by grandparents as kids, and they are disappointed that their Boomer parents (aged 60 to 80) aren’t cultivating meaningful relationships with the next generation.
‘That’s not my fault’: A generational rift trends
Phyllis has over 15K followers on TikTok where she posts content about parenting and running a household. Some of her videos are humorous critiques of the millennial-boomer family dynamic from her perspective as a millennial mom of young children. In ‘lines absent boomer grandparents say,’ she lists “some weird sh*t Boomer grandparents do that millennials can’t relate to because we didn’t have those type of grandparents.”
She says her mom comes over for “her yearly visit” and maybe takes a picture of the kids. Or, she pulls a picture of the kids off of Phyllis’s Facebook page, pretending she was there and she took the photo. Phyllis complains that her mom, “lives 40 minutes [away], hasn’t seen the kids in six months,” so her kids don’t even know who their grandmother is. She ramps up to the classic callous response offered to new mothers in need of support: “You just had a baby? Well that’s not my fault.”
The video ends with the claim that a boomer mother might refuse to babysit the older kids while their mother is in labor with a new baby. As in other videos, Phyllis is holding (but not applying) lip gloss while she records the video from the passenger seat of her parked car.
@motherphyllis Can anyone else relate?????? I should’ve said absent grandmother’s not grandparents but y’all know what I mean 🤣 #fyp #fypシ #fypage #viral #fyp #viral #millennial #boomer #momlife #mom #sahm #funny ♬ original sound – Phyllis
The viral post has 14.2K likes and 200.4 comments from people who assert that, yes, this is definitely a generational problem and others who claim to have no idea what she’s talking about. @j00ny369T reposted the video on X along with the caption “lots of people seem to relate to this.”
‘They didn’t even want to be parents’: Millennials relate
Millennial parents in the comments section of the video sympathized with Phyllis. “My son didn’t even realize my mom was his grandma,” TikToker @bbbb67536 commented. “Their parents raised us,” wrote @mommabear740.
@lindseyleray’s comment, “Normalize telling your grandparents they raised entitled brats,” struck up an affirmative exchange. @houseofcarp replied, “I look at my grandparents and think they were incredibly reasonable and stable people! How did my parents end up this way!?”
Boomer defenders clap back:
The other side included users who have a different experience. These are largely either Boomer grandparents themselves, or millennial parents who do have support from their Boomer parents.
@lauriewinn336 commented, “It’s a shame she’s blaming an entire generation for what her parents are. My dad and my mother-in-law were amazing with my kids… Maybe the problem is her attitude.”
@themrssides wrote, “These are just not caring people. Don’t put the boomer label on them because there are a lot of amazing boomer grandparents.”
A similar, more recent video posted by Phyllis on March 20th inspired clear backlash from this camp:
TikTok user @emilym1993 asked “What do you do for your parents? Sounds like a one way street in terms of expectations.”
Other comments were straight-up roasts: “I can’t imagine why your parents or in-laws don’t want to help you. You’re such a delight,” @eaco_2020 commented. And @gronkcoach replied, “Is this what you do instead of therapy? It’s not working for you, go to therapy.”
Are Boomers too old—or too over it—to be good grandparents?
The jury’s out on whether or not an entire generation of grandparents is genuinely disinterested in helping to raise their grandchildren.
According to the CDC, the average age of a first-time mother in 1970 was 21.4. By 2000, the average first-time mother was 27.2 years old. In 2025 the number has risen to an all-time high of 27.5. Many millennial couples are delaying parenthood into their 30s and 40’, making Boomers the oldest grandparents of all time. An aging Boomer population called in to help grandparent later than previous generations could find it challenging or unappealing to chase around another set of kids.
Experts also say parenting has changed. Perhaps it’s hard for Boomers to relate to the expectations of their millennial children who are now parents. Also, the Boomers are the wealthiest generation in the US. They own over $78 trillion in assets which is over half of all the wealth in the country. Many of them might feel they have “done their time” and are now taking the opportunity to enjoy life.
Maybe every generation has complained about a lack of support from their parents. But now the conversation can reach hundreds of thousands via social media. And it looks like it has.
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