At a recent Steelers-Chargers game in Los Angeles, TikToker Taryn Arnold (@thetarynarnold) said a stranger managed to ruin an otherwise easy night out.
“I am being bizarrely impacted by what a stranger man said to me the other day, and I just—I need to tell you about it,” Arnold said. She and her wife (@cammie.scott) had settled into their seats and, as she noted in her video, they first had to “suss out the vibe” as a lesbian couple before relaxing. They held hands, felt safe, and enjoyed the early part of the game.
The couple chatted with the fans on their left, who she described as “perfect,” and bonded with a Steelers supporter to her right who was part of a larger drunk friend group.
For most of the game, Arnold and the man beside her cheered, joked, and high-fived, bonding over their love of the Steelers.
“I asked him if he’s from Pittsburgh. He says, ‘No, I just love the Steelers.’ I said, ‘Nice.’ He said, ‘What about you guys?’ This is where I launched that, ‘This is my wife.’ So I say, ‘Oh, my wife is from Pittsburgh, and I inherited Pittsburgh fandom, so now I’m a Steelers fan.’ He goes, ‘Oh, nice.’ Nothing. Perfect. The greatest way that could have gone.”
A harmless interaction took a turn
However, things changed late in the fourth quarter. According to Arnold, the friend of her seat neighbor leaned over and asked, “Did I hear you say that was your wife?” She braced herself, unsure of where the conversation would go.
When she confirmed it, he hit her with, “Damn, how did you bag that?” She said the comment landed like an insult, noting it was “a crazy way to tell someone that you think they’re ugly.”
She added that men often toss out backhanded compliments that, boiled down, sound like, “She’s so much hotter than you. How did you do that?”
Although she sometimes jokes about the disparity herself, hearing it from a stranger felt different. She tried to deflect with, “Oh, yeah, I know. She’s gorgeous. Yeah.” However, he doubled down, telling her, “I couldn’t even do that. I couldn’t even bag her.”
Arnold said she simply turned back to the game and thought, “Okay. F*cking freak. Weirdo.”
The stranger kept pushing
But he still wasn’t done. She said he tapped her again and asked, “I mean, you have notes you could send me?” She replied, “I’ll send you a letter,” even though she had no idea why that came out. On the drive home, she told her wife and then her mom what happened, explaining, “Some freak called me ugly and then said that he couldn’t even get Cammie.”
@thetarynarnold should we send him a letter???
♬ original sound – thetarynarnold
She also reflected on how she had expected something supportive, like “Oh, my sister’s gay. It’s so nice to be around other gay women.” Instead, he delivered a comment that, as she put it, “sent shivers down my d*mn spine, down my uggo spine.”
Commenters react
In the comments, many offered potential explanations. “He was treating you like one of the boys,” one said. “I’m not saying it was a good choice, I’m saying there wasn’t malice intended.”
“So the ironic thing about this is he absolutely left that interaction thinking he gave you a huge compliment and was super inclusive,” suggests another.
Another blamed it on gendered roles in relationships, saying, “Because they perceive you as ‘the guy’ in this situation, and that’s how guys compliment each other”
In a follow-up TikTok, Arnold responded to commenters who accused her of hating men or overreacting.
She explained that the guy never complimented her wife at all. Instead, his remark acted as a backhanded way of assessing her appearance, one she said she didn’t ask for and didn’t want.
Taryn Arnold did not respond immediately to the Daily Dot’s request for comment via email.
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