“Tried to start a riot in his first-grade class”: 19 parents who had to discipline their kids while secretly dying of laughter

Parents are having a blast on X, recalling the funniest things they ever had to punish their kids for after one user asked for stories. Sometimes children may be naughty, but in such a hilarious way that you have to put them in a time-out while holding in fits of laughter.

This knowledge led user @MpiloKhumalo_ to post the related prompt on X in late June.

“Parents, what’s the funniest ‘bad’ thing that your child did that you had to punish them [for] while holding back laughter?” they wrote.

The ask drew hundreds of responses, including from child-free folks recalling their own childhood shenanigans. Some of these kids were so funny—or so correct—that they weren’t even punished.

From babies scamming adults out of treats to kids defending their moms to all the ways teens get around iPad restrictions, this thread is reminding people how clever children can be, even when they’re not intending to be.

If you need a break from parenting or a reminder of why it’s so rewarding, please enjoy these 19 amusing kid crimes.

1. Getting around iPad limits

“My daughter has always had limits to how much TV/ipad time she has, but I never locked her camera so she could always look at pictures. One day I found out she was recording TV shows on her ipad while watching so she could watch them in her room later when her screen time was up.” —@ninamonei

2. A sad tune

“One time I sent my youngest to his room, and about a minute later I hear him playing slow, sad notes on a harmonica. Swear to God, I was dying laughing.” —@MisterFabulist

3. The motherf*cking garbage truck

“When my youngest son was 3, we were driving and he was in the back seat talking about the garage truck behind us.” 

“’Mom mom, garage truck!’”

“’Mom mom, lookit truck.’”

“That went on for a bit until he suddenly yelled ‘THE MOTHERF*CKER’S GONNA HIT US!!’” —@Emmicah1

4. Poetic justice

“My nephew has nerve damage in his right eye so it doesn’t open fully, back when he was in 1st grade it was some boy makin’ fun of his eye, so he punched him in the eye and told him ‘now we got the same eye.’ I was cryin’ laughin’ when my mom told me.” —@Caliboiimatt

5. Getting around iPad limits part 2

“My daughter’s iPad goes off at a certain time. All but FaceTime. She called her cousin, had her share her screen, and they watched YouTube together.” —@Flawles2Victory

6. Flipping off a bug

“He didn’t get punished for this, but my son saw an insect in his room the other night. He’s afraid of insects, so he asked us if it’s okay for him to give the insect the middle finger.” —@adibzaini

7. Ethnic confusion

“When I was in the second grade I got into a fight with a kid because he was talking bad about Haitian people and I’m Haitian. My mom gets to the office and I explain to her why I got into a fight and she’s holding back laughter as she explains to me, I am indeed not Haitian.” —@Keionisbored

8. A one-year-old’s fruit snack heist

“Man say my daughter got away with eating 4 fruit snack pouches in one day at 1 yrs old. She kept walking up to a different adult in the house every hour with one and our slow a**es gave em to her.” —@_Jxms_

9. Loving his mom too much

“My then 6 yr old son gave a cupcake to our new neighbour and the old man refused [so] my son got a stick and whacked him saying ‘eat it my mom made it.’” —@bratzilla_x

10. A fateful reunion

“First grade; This boy tried to kiss me, and he did, so I punched him in the face, gut, and groin. My mother had to come in and she had to hold the laughter back because the mother of the boy was her high school bully.” —@machine_png

11. Santa Claus is coming to where?

“She kept saying Santa Claus is coming to Pound Town and refusing to say where she heard it.” —@notoriouskek

12. The rebellion

“He tried to start a riot in his first-grade class. He stood up on a chair and asked the other kids why they were okay with being treated like dogs- being told when to eat, being sent outside, and then forced back in, getting sent to the calm down corner for complaining.” —@dragonsteward

13. The sneaky SIM card

“Speaking on behalf of my mom (RIP), when I was a teen my mom took my cell but before I handed it over I removed the SIM card. I then borrowed an old cell from a friend & put the card in the phone. My mom called me by accident, out of habit and I answered.” —@JadeToTheMax

14. Room with a view

“Sent my daughter to her room. Caught her looking out her window directly into my neighbour’s window, where they had a 52-inch TV and Britain’s Got Talent was on.” —@suriyahsays

15. Snitching

“Told my preschool that my mom would drink and drive all the time. Every day. Turns out preschoolers don’t know the difference between booze and coffee.” —@ana_reyrey

16. Choice of words

“The story my mom always tells us is that my brother smacked his head getting into the car so hard once, and he was inconsolable. Until finally he asked, ‘Can I say a bad word?’ We expected ‘sh*t’ but instead loud and proud for all to hear the most shrill little voice screamed ‘F*CK.’” —@idioddyssey

17. Helping teacher

“I came to pick her up from daycare, and the teacher said she had a good day, but she couldn’t keep her hands to herself. I said Well, what happened? Turns out she was beating the kids’ a** when they interrupted the teacher and nobody knew how to correct that, cus is she wrong????” —@tedthousand_

18. Loving grilled cheese

“Lied and told the school he had a peanut allergy so he would get grilled cheese instead of PB&J for snack time.”

“I was PISSED when the school called me in a panic asking why I didn’t inform them of his ‘allergy.’” —@jojo_ln

19. The almost swear

“Our 5-year-old was being a smart ass per usual & my husband told her casually to ‘shut up’ [so] this girl looked him dead in the face & said ‘you make me so mad I almost said a curse word at you.’” —@__InfinityStar

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