the room parody

I got the results of the test back—I definitely have breast implants.

Warning: This story contains content that might be considered NSFW.

We can think of a few lines likely to make an appearance in The Bed Room, the upcoming porn parody of the so-bad-it’s-good cult classic The Room

Hi, doggy (style). You’re tearing it apart, Lisa. Take those stupid comments and shove ‘em in your pocket pussy. I feel like I’m sitting on an atomic dick waiting for it to go off. I got the results of the test back: I definitely have breast implants.

That’s right: The Room, a movie notorious for its “porn-level” acting and production value, a movie that is so bad it’s basically a parody of itself, is getting its own porn parody. Shut it all down, folks. There’s nothing more we can do here.

Directed by Lee Roy Myers of Woodrocket, the production company behind such parodic tour de forces as Game of Bones and Doctor Whore XXXThe Bed Room (NSFW) is an XXX retelling of the beloved 2003 cult classic by aspiring auteur and “Croatian cyborg” Tommy Wiseau. It stars Ela Darling (of Woodrocket’s viral Hobby Lobby video fame) as Lisa and Anthony Rosano as Johnny. (We think they probably could’ve nabbed the original actors for a few hundred dollars and a case of Thunderbird, but these guys will do as well, I suppose.)

If the SFW trailer over at AV Club is any indication, The Bed Room hews fairly close to its source material. It’s got it all: Wooden acting, dialogue that bears only a vague resemblance to normal human speech patterns, even a game of catch (albeit with dildos instead of footballs.) Basically, it’s just like watching The Room during a midnight screening at your local theater, except this time you’ll definitely get to see what’s under Mark’s jeans during the sex scenes. Now let’s all celebrate this momentous occasion by joining in a lusty rendition of “You Are My Rose.”

H/T AV Club | Screengrab via Woodrocket

EJ Dickson

EJ Dickson

EJ Dickson is a writer and editor who primarily covers sex, dating, and relationships, with a special focus on the intersection of intimacy and technology. She served as the Daily Dot’s IRL editor from January 2014 to July 2015. Her work has since appeared in the New York Times, Rolling Stone, Mic, Bustle, Romper, and Men’s Health.

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