We have an important decision to make this year for the sake of our future and our country. It’s time we all sat down and voted for which celebrity is more likely to hotbox their trailer with shitty sweet e-cig smoke. Introducing whichonevap.es, a website and game that wants you to vote with your conscience.
The inspiration for “Which one vapes?” came from a My Brother, My Brother, and Me podcast episode of the same name. The McElroy brothers (who are listed on the site leaderboard as the “most likely brothers to vape”) started throwing out celebrity names, eventually pitting them against each other. Randy Quaid? Yeah, he vapes. Corey Feldman? There is scientific evidence that he vapes, thank you ver much. Russell Crowe? No, probably not.
“As my muses sang the words, I decided to bring this idea, kicking and screaming, into existence,” Aubron Wood explains on the about page. “Just under 24 hours later, this site was born.”
Spoiler alert: Steve-O is already in the top six of folks most likely to vape. Jonny Lee Miller doesn’t stand a chance! And neither do any women. Getting a shitload of people together to cast their votes on celebrity vaping somehow reflects our gendered attitudes towards the very act. Just take a look at this top six.
This isn’t a knock against the site’s concept but rather a weird display of unconscious bias, though Josh Gad does look pretty damn vapetastic in that smarmy fedora headshot. Gary Busey just looks like he confused a vape cloud with a ghost.
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Then there’s the “least likely to vape” list. It’s worth noting that the site and its owner take a very anti-dead celebrity approach to voting. Wood says he’s working on tools to better report shitty photos, as well as the appearance of the departed. Until those fixes get made, the top of the vape-free list remains very much not alive. It’s topped by Bruce Lee, and he’s surrounded by women, one of whom is also dead.
If taken literally, then yeah, Lee and femme fatale Veronica Lake probably wouldn’t vape. But wouldn’t it be amazing if Beyoncé and her squad got in formation to vape? She could have e-juice in her bag. Swag.