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Metal band shares the best breakup post of all time

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What the movement lost in rally turnout, it gained in debts and Twitter bans.

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There’s cheating, a broken guitar, and even a dead drummer.

Toronto metal band Witchrot is no more, and ironically enough, the band’s breakup may be its best work yet.

Just one month after the female-fronted doom metal stoner band debuted its first EP, band member Peter Turik pulled the plug after he learned “the unfortunate reality of our guitarist fucking my girlfriend.” Unfortunately, the band couldn’t outlive the affair, although Turik is sure Witchrot will continue “in another space and time.”

“Due to the unfortunate reality of our guitarist fucking my girlfriend of almost 7 years WITCHROT will be taking an extended hiatus,” Turik announced. “I however will continue the band in another space and time, being ripe with hate the music is slowly flowing and without a doubt will become the most devastating, torturous music I have ever created.”

For good measure, he even threw in a photo of a broken guitar in trash, and the small fact that “our drummer died.” Yikes! (For the record, the drummer’s death appears to be a nod to Spinal Tap.)

Due to the unfortunate reality of our guitarist fucking my girlfriend of almost 7 years WITCHROT will be taking an…

Posted by Witchrot on Sunday, November 25, 2018

It didn’t take long for Witchrot to go viral on Twitter, with the band’s breakup quickly hailed as the internet’s “favorite band breakup notice ever.”

Some Twitter users missed the Spinal Tap reference and thought the band’s drummer actually died.

Even Ted Cruz is getting wrapped up into Witchrot’s saga.

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Witchrot may be gone, but don’t worry, Turik is still making music. His band Crazy Bones is still kicking, where he plays guitar, ironically enough.

Ana Valens

Ana Valens

Ana Valens is an LGBTQ reporter and essayist for the Daily Dot. Her work has previously appeared in Bitch, the Establishment, Vice's Waypoint, Rolling Stone's Glixel, and the Toast. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.