- Netflix dominates with 34 Golden Globe nominations across TV and film 6 Years Ago
- Ethan Klein has declared war on K-pop—and K-pop fans 6 Years Ago
- People are not happy with Steve Harvey’s cartel comment to Miss Colombia 6 Years Ago
- The decade conspiracy theories overtook the truth Today 9:14 AM
- Marianne Williamson duped into believing Trump pardoned Charles Manson Today 8:55 AM
- TikTok users are freaking out about ‘predicting’ Juice WRLD’s death Today 7:59 AM
- @MugJerry and the quest for Instagram justice Today 7:00 AM
- Angela Abar wrestles with destiny in ‘Watchmen’ episode 8 Sunday 9:05 PM
- Guy who runs Trump Organization Twitter account caught hyping up own tweet Sunday 4:51 PM
- People found out how tall Olaf is–and now ‘Frozen’ is terrifying Sunday 3:41 PM
- Rapper Juice WRLD dead at 21 Sunday 3:02 PM
- Embody Andrew Yang, fight other presidential candidates in video game Sunday 2:33 PM
- Ariana Grande spoke with TikTok teen who looks exactly like her Sunday 1:00 PM
- Beyoncé accused of paying dancers ‘low rates’ Sunday 11:58 AM
- Timmy Thick blasted for saying the N-word in comeback video Sunday 9:11 AM
Kid writes the best poem ever about how much poetry sucks
Move over, Shakespeare.
A fifth-grader participating in an “Adventures in Creative Writing” session with the literacy non-profit Open Books was none too enthused about the prospect of penning some slam poetry. Nevertheless, in setting out to malign the medium, he inadvertently brought forth perhaps the greatest poem of our time—unquestionably the work of a master in the making.
Whether he likes it or not, little Panajotis has a gift:
Image via Tumblr
Adjusted for legibility and spelling—while preserving the ingenious line breaks:
I hate poetry!
Poetry looks like a demon rising.
I don’t want to do this.
Poetry sounds like nails on a chalkboard.
I still don’t want to do
Poetry smells like skunk spray times
will notdon’t want to do
Poetry tastes like rotten eggs with
I will never
do this again.
Poetry feels like being frozen by a
Doesn’t everybody hate poetry?
Panajotis’s sense of rhythm and repetition, his finely controlled similes, his commitment to meta-artistic honesty—admitting that he was already “doing this” by crossing out and revising the declaration that he wouldn’t—all contribute to an expertly wrought result. If there were any justice in this world, he’d be teaching in an MFA program right now.
“Doesn’t everybody hate poetry?” Not anymore, kid. Not anymore.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'