In a move that was sure to galvanize the media on the slowest Monday in recent memory, President Barack Obama now has a personal Twitter account. Call it part of his “DGAF Tour”—just one more sign that he’s ready to move out of Washington and get on with his life.
Hello, Twitter! It's Barack. Really! Six years in, they're finally giving me my own account.
— President Obama (@POTUS44) May 18, 2015
What advice can we give a leader of the free world just now joining the nine-year-old social media platform? Well, this is where you let your basic flag fly. So don’t be afraid to:
1) Tweet thirstily at celebrities
Twitter’s primary function is to connect unknown scrubs with their A-list idols.
LemmeTweetThatForYou
2) Subtweet coworkers
Sometimes online passive-aggression is the only thing Vice President Biden understands.
LemmeTweetThatForYou
3) Promote your mixtape
Featuring a guest verse from hype man/Press Secretary Josh Earnest and a Justice Scalia diss track.
LemmeTweetThatForYou
4) Ask how things work
How do you post a Sign Bunny? I dunno, crowdsource that shit.
LemmeTweetThatForYou
5) React to TV shows in real-time
Now that he has Twitter, Obama can watch season two of True Detective like a real human being.
LemmeTweetThatForYou
6) Jump on some stupid trending hashtags
Great chance to restore some of that “man of the people” cred.
LemmeTweetThatForYou
7) Viciously troll Donald Trump
Not all conservative nutjobs—just Donald Trump.
LemmeTweetThatForYou
Photo via The Searcher/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)