The shortest marriages ever were on the minds of Redditors after one asked for stories about the fastest ends to these relationships. Nothing entertains social media more than breakup stories, and the short marriages are usually brutal ones.
A good portion of the tales shared involved people who never should have tied the knot in the first place, whether because they just weren’t ready, had a bad feeling, or were straight up in love with somebody else. Others were dumped because they weren’t honest with their partners or else majorly screwed up soon after the nuptials.
Relationships take work, and if you’re not up for the challenge, it might be best to avoid marriage until you are. Those divorce lawyer fees are no joke.
For all those who love to see a romance crash and burn, enjoy these 18 stories of doomed love:
1. A bride with a crush
“I was a close friend of the bride. Straight after the ceremony she grabbed me. She was crying her eyes out and said ‘Mike’s not here! Mike didn’t come! He didn’t see me looking pretty in my dress!’”
“Mike was her work boss who she had a crush on.”
“[Bride] and groom went on honeymoon, came back separated. Mike left his wife to embark on a two-week affair with the bride, then returned to his wife.” —u/PhantomFairy
2. Left for an ex
“My own, within 3 months. We got married and it was like a complete 180°. Turns out his ex girlfriend reached out to him around the same time and he still had feelings for her. I found out because she messaged me on Facebook with the screenshots of their texts. He had promised to leave me if she’d get back with him. She agreed, so we divorced. She never got back with him.” —u/Grouchy-Emu3092
3. Cheated on her honeymoon
“I knew someone whose wife cheated on him on the honeymoon, with someone she’d been chatting with online and organised a meetup at the destination. I think it was 2 weeks.” —u/Annual_Reindeer2621
4, Ditched the controlling husband
“I know of one that lasted two weeks (and was actually over before that). High school sweethearts, but the bride tried to back out of the wedding realizing her fiancé was and always had been controlling and emotionally abusive. Her mom and MIL convinced her it was just cold feet.”
“She went through with it; on their wedding night he gave her a ‘this is how it’s going to be now that we’re married’ speech about what he expected her to do/not do as his wife, and she left that night and didn’t come back.” —u/wordnerdette
5. Wedding cake woes
“Twelve hours. They argued about the wedding cake and never spoke again.” —u/Luminousmissxo
6. Wedding gift heist
“My aunt was once married for a few hours. During the reception, her husband took all of the cards and the gifts, disappeared and wasn’t seen again for years. Supposedly he said he was going to put everything in the car, but loaded up the car and drove off to another state that evening, and that was it.”
“Officially I want to say she had it annulled within a week, but unofficially you could say that the marriage was over after 6-7 hours.” —u/galagapilot
7. Why even get married
“I ran into a coworker and her husband the morning after their wedding at the airport on their way to their honeymoon. She was in the restroom and I told the groom congrats on the wedding etc and he said ‘yeah this one ain’t lasting too long’ and then just smiled.”
“About three months later they were divorced but I don’t know all the reasons. They both were trainwrecks.” —u/iwouldhugwonderwoman
8. Why you don’t rush into it
“Two days. American Bride met Australian groom in Australia but both wanted to live in the U.S., so bride gets job and buys house in U.S. while groom works on his Visa. It takes about eight months for groom to finish all the paperwork, but during that time, bride meets and starts a sexual relationship with a co-worker.”
“They get married on a Sunday. Bride is now completely unstable and an emotional wreck. Two days later on Tuesday, she demands an annulment, tells the groom she’s been sleeping with and loves her coworker, groom is completely blindsided and devastatingly heartbroken, and flies back to Australia the next day.” —u/LaLa_LaSportiva
9. Take your meds
“Three weeks. The groom was schizophrenic and had not mentioned this beforehand, also promptly stopped taking his medication.” —u/Mahlisya
10. The anti-social princess
“About 6 months and she was a nightmare. We’d have a gathering once a month or so to play boardgames or cards. Nothing loud, or obnoxious. She’d go watch tv in their bedroom. There were other couples there, she would make no effort and we joked that she needed the, “please leave by 9” glittery banner whenever we came over.”
“She wanted a real princess life. Joked about how he owed her an hour massage for letting him have his friends over. You could have heard a pin drop.” —u/Face-palmJedi
11. Financial assistance needed
“3 days.”
“On Monday the bride had a meeting with her college financial advisor. She informed them she just got married and when they ran the numbers with the grooms info she no longer qualified for whatever financial assistance she was going for.” —u/TheParallax2
12. Dumped over epilepsy
“My friend got married. Everyone sat down to eat and he had an epileptic fit. He hasn’t had one in 10+ years, but it happened at the most unfortunate moment.”
“What’s worse the bride didn’t know anything about his past with epilepsy. She freaked out. So did her parents, and after a few pointy but polite words exchanged, it was over.” —u/antipositron
13. Oops
“3 days he called her by his ex’s name during the honeymoon.” —u/Straight_Mixture650
14. In love with another
“My mother had this friend and her daughter had been high school sweethearts with this guy and after dating for over ten years they decided to get married. A few months after the wedding she confessed she was in love with someone else and had been since before the wedding but didn’t dare call it all off.”
“They divorced, she got with the other guy and then they had a shitty relationship that ended in a break up.” —u/EvansHomeforBoys
15. Shared nudes on WhatsApp
“A coworker got married … shared his wife’s nudes on whatsapp story the same night while she was asleep … his wife left him the next day and filed for divorce a few days later.” —u/Engineerules737
16. The last dance
“Wedding photographer here, I had a couple split up during the first dance.” —u/the_heff
17. Married out of guilt
“When I was in college I knew a girl who was friends with my roommates. She was getting married but it was clear they were unhappy. On the month of her wedding she said she didn’t want to get married anymore but a lot of people already sent gifts and others were excited so she felt bad canceling. On the day of her wedding she went and got married, had the reception, and that night slept on our couch.” —u/moviemakerjay
18. The bigamist
“When I was in Iraq someone went on leave and got married.”
“When he came back he turned the paperwork in and learned that getting married in one state does not cancel out getting married in another. So ended up getting charged with bigamy.” —u/Justame13
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