Craigslister desperately wants to find a good home for his ex-sex doll

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If you love something, you must let it go. A sex doll owner in Los Angeles is learning this the hard way. 

One of the hardest lessons we learn in life is how hard it is to say goodbye to the people we love. One anonymous man in Los Angeles is currently experiencing this painful lesson firsthand, putting his beloved sex doll, Amber, up for sale on Craigslist for $4,500.

Here’s the original post. To get a sense of the author’s emotional state at the time of writing, you should probably read it while playing either REM’s “Everybody Hurts” or Boyz II Men’s “It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday” playing on Spotify.

I am selling my RealDoll. We met about 3 years ago at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas and I instantly fell in love with her. Her name is Amber and she is one of the most sensuous lovers I have ever had. Although she is a little lackluster in the cooking department, she never talks back and is there to satisfy every sexual desire you can think of. She has a gorgeous ass and a 34D cup. Amazing kisser. She is always up for a road trip so get in that carpool lane. Even gives roadhead with a little bit of help. She has been a great friend, confidant and lover to me, but I have a real girlfriend now and she is getting jealous of Amber. I really want to see her go to a good home.

She also loves watching interracial porn. We have a subscription to Will throw in my subscription to whoever takes Amber in. It is paid up for another 8 months.

Serious offers only.

In an email to the Daily Dot, the Craigslist poster (who wishes to remain anonymous) further explained why he was selling Amber, despite his strong emotional attachment to her and her invaluable aid in navigating L.A. rush hour traffic:

My girlfriend isn't too understanding of the relationship I have with her and made me choose between her or Amber. I don't know why people are so judgmental of a male using a sex toy. I heard something that like 80 percent of women own some sort of sex toy and don’t understand why it's all taboo for a guy. Sure the price tag is high but I paid 7,500 bucks for Amber and I really do look at her as a companion.

If anyone would like to step into this Pinter-esque love triangle and give Amber a good home, you’re in luck: Her owner says he hasn’t had any offers yet. “But I refuse to drop the price,” he adds.

We wish Amber’s owner (ex-boyfriend? Lover? Husband? Ew, father? Let’s go with owner) the best of luck during what must be an incredibly difficult time. It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

H/T Brobible | Photo via Craigslist

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