- Elon Musk’s Cybertruck mocked after ball busts windows during demonstration Today 12:23 AM
- Pornhub has a bundle now, Disney+ style Thursday 11:27 PM
- Jacob Wohl’s dad is selling horny calendars of himself for the soldiers Thursday 11:10 PM
- Amanda Palmer dragged for ‘demanding’ coverage of her music Thursday 8:33 PM
- How to get free TikTok followers without downloading a virus Thursday 7:57 PM
- Trump Jr.s ‘Triggered’ topped best-seller’s list with help of RNC Thursday 7:41 PM
- FBI raided millionaire YouTuber’s home, allegedly took everything Thursday 6:55 PM
- A fake Labour party website is spreading disinformation in Britain Thursday 6:16 PM
- Twitter bans cricket club for posting ISIS content in apparent hack Thursday 6:12 PM
- This dad remade his daughter’s NSFW photo—and people are loving it Thursday 5:51 PM
- Teen allegedly posted ‘slave for sale’ Craigslist ad featuring his Black classmate Thursday 5:28 PM
- People are crushed that this teen love story might be a TikTok ‘joke’ Thursday 4:50 PM
- Is Jacob Wohl evading his Twitter ban with Jack Burkman’s account? Thursday 2:06 PM
- Biden’s most perplexing debate answers, explained Thursday 2:03 PM
- How to stream Colts vs. Texans on Thursday Night Football Thursday 12:52 PM
Beth Cook is a personal coach and writer. Want advice? Have advice? Send her an email.
The most interesting thing about online dating is that it makes you confront your prejudices. Yes, we all have them. But like you, I’m pretty good at pretending that I don’t.
In fact, I pride myself on being one of the most adventurous daters on the planet—giving anyone I find the slightest bit attractive a shot. I don’t have a type, and I never will. Despite all that, though, I am not immune to prejudging people when it comes to the side column on OkCupid.
This make-or-break side column is where you let curious viewers know basic facts about you and your lifestyle: height, weight, body type, ethnicity, diet, smoking/drinking/drug use, religion, astrological sign, education, income, and feelings about pets and offspring.
Cruise down someone’s side column and you will suddenly have a litany of questions to answer about what you really want, what you really don’t want, and what you’re willing to put up with.
Could I date a vegetarian? Someone who rarely drinks? A fire sign? Someone who “might” want kids? A cat man?
Sheesh—just when I thought I knew exactly what I wanted!
I ask myself how these people would feel about my steak obsession, wine-o-clock at Chez Beth, my watery emotional nature, my certainty about parenting, and my allergy to cats?
If they were okay with me, would I be okay with them?
I guarantee if I met a charming man in real life and found out that he was a vegetarian, I’d think to myself, “Oh, well! Nobody’s perfect!”
But when it comes to online dating, I don’t feel so forgiving. I find myself searching for exactly what I want: a meat-eating, wine-drinking, kid-desiring dog lover. After all, isn’t that the luxury of having thousands of resumes at your fingertips?
I’m not proud of my behavior. And this is exactly why you don’t hear me sing the praises of online dating. I hate how it makes me judgmental.
The trick here is to know the difference between a deal-breaking trait and one you can get used to. This is your (and my) homework assignment, my friends: decide what your dating blueprint looks like. It’s kind of like house-hunting; make a list of the few things that are absolute musts, and be flexible on everything else. Once you figure out your non-negotiables, your online searches will become a lot less perplexing (and you won’t have to feel judgey at each stage of the game—huzzah!).
As for me, I could probably live with a vegetarian or a fire sign, but there is no way in hell I could shack up with a cat.
Photo by Suzy Duke/Flickr