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Ask Electra: My new boyfriend wants Skype sex

Ask Electra: This reader wonders if she should say yes to Skype sex in a new relationship.


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Posted on Dec 7, 2012   Updated on Jun 2, 2021, 5:55 am CDT

The Internet Age comes with its own problems, real and virtual: romantic, sexual, practical, professional. More than ever we need a good old-fashioned agony aunt for the social Web who will help us solve our digital dilemmas. Unfortunately, we only have Electra, who doles out her brand of Greek advice with a kick. Got a virtual problem? Ask Electra and brave her total honesty by emailing or follow her @AskElectra.

Dear Electra,

I met my boyfriend two months ago, right before he was to move to Europe on a fellowship for a year. We liked each other so much that decided to stay in touch, and do the long-distance thing for a while, see how it goes. He’s been gone for a month already and we won’t see each other till March. We’ve had phone sex a couple of times and it was okay, but now he suggested we try Skype sex. Maybe if we had spent more than just a brief month together before he left I would feel more comfortable, but as it is the idea makes me nervous and I giggle just thinking about it. How should I handle this? 


—Jess wonderin’

Dear Wonderin’ Jess,

Get ready for your close up. You will find a Skyhump can be quite fun, perhaps even easier to have than phone sex. The trouble with the phone, you see, is you have to rely solely on words and sounds. I don’t know about you, but my repertoire of dirty talk is rather limited and I run out of colorful descriptions long before the other person runs out of energy. Caught off guard I can’t even get the simplest things right. They’ll ask me what I’m wearing and, panicking, I’ll respond: “A kimono!” Also, it is hard to hear what people are saying when they lower their voices into the sexy-husky range, which results in many disruptions:



Trust me, it’s easier to fake an orgasm than a conversation. 

With Skype you need not worry about any of that. You just let your image do the talking for you. Plus, you get to set the stage. Have a glass of wine beforehand. Don’t wear wear a kimono. A t-shirt and panties (and yes, call them your panties) should do the trick. If, due to the time difference, you need to Skyhump during the day, make sure you draw the blinds. Lighting is key. Also key: a good WiFi connection. The last thing you want is your frozen sex face on your boyfriend’s screen. Have fun with it. After it’s over you even get to cyber cuddle.


Photograph by greyloch

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*First Published: Dec 7, 2012, 5:22 pm CST