Mark Zuckerberg has been dragged onto the metastasizing image board of doom by the women in his life.
Mark Zuckerberg has had enough of poking. He’s moved on to pinning.
The founder of Facebook is so totally bored of your recycled memes, Spotify playlists, and whatever the crap you’re reading on the Washington Post that he’s found refuge on Pinterest.
The profile appears to be authentic, as it’s linked to Zuckerberg’s Facebook account. Since you log into Pinterest via Facebook, either someone’s hacked Zuckerberg’s profile or he’s really on Pinterest. (We asked Facebook PR, but they haven’t deigned to respond to this pressing issue yet. Maybe the IPO quiet period?)
Anyway, blame his sisters for dragging him into this: He started following their Pinterest accounts last week.
He’s already pinned three banal things, which fits his unassuming personality. And not to go all “investigative reporter” on you, but he follows many Facebook employees, like Brynn Shepherd, a product designer at Facebook (and total Pinterest fangirl, judging by her boards).
So yeah, it’s him, and we’re already bored of his three boards: movies, products and “awesome,” which is surprisingly not filled up with Instagram-tinted pictures of his company’s public offering that would pin him as one of the world’s richest men. (See what I … oh, never mind.)
And, judging by his one like of coloring lemons, it’s clear he’s already stricken by white-lady-pin syndrome. It’s an incurable disease that consumes Pinterest users’ minds and forces them to pin pictures of cupcakes, inspirational quotes, and unaffordable beachside houses.
To save Zuckerberg from turning into a white girl who can’t stop pinning whole-wheat pizza recipes, we have a few board ideas.
Farm animals. He loves them so much he kills them. Then eats them. He’s constantly browsing the Web finding the best way to decapitate chickens. So! Pinning the best techniques would be helpful. And he could download the Pinterest mobile application and reference them while on the hunt for a wild boar. Or as Zuckerberg calls it, weekends.
Hoodies and tees. Not one with a knack for style, Zuckerberg is known for his uniform of black zip-ups, grey tee-shirts, and sandals. He could make a board dedicated to his fashion non-choices! On the day that Adidas offers a flash sale on sandals, Zuck could pin his favorites and have his assistant buy them.
Asian sensations. In 2003, Zuckerberg announced that he liked Asian girls, according to his old Friendster profile dug up by Gawker. He taught himself Chinese and straddles elephants in Vietnam for funsies. What about a board dedicated to his fetishization of his favorite world region? He could pin recipes for his wok, his favorite J-pop music, or pictures of his lovely girlfriend, Priscilla.
Just spitballing here, Zuck. No pressure, but if Pinterest ends up being too much for you, maybe consider the fratty alternative, Gentlemint? I’m sure pictures of slaughtered horse meat would go nicely with your Adidas sandals.
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