Conan and Colbert face off in the battle of masturbating bears

Only one host can claim to be the first to feature a self-pleasuring bear.

 

Michelle Jaworski

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Published Jul 17, 2014   Updated May 30, 2021, 10:48 pm CDT

If you’re going to stake a claim on the origin of a joke, you better be able to prove that you were there first.

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The other night, Stephen Colbert did a story on bears in hammocks, gay bears, and a promiscuous bear in his “ThreatDown” segment, complete with several clips, one of which featured a bear masturbating.

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Later on, he claimed to be the first person to show such a clip on television.

Tonight, I made television history by being the first host to ever show a masturbating bear on air. Just wanted to point that out.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) July 16, 2014

But when you make such a bold, tongue-in-cheek claim, there’s bound to be someone to dispute it—like the very person who’s featured a masturbating bear on his TV shows for close to 20 years.

Word of Colbert’s stunt made its way to Conan O’Brien, and needless to say, he wasn’t happy. His own Masturbating Bear was on his deathbed despite doctors’ best efforts.

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But, like many stories, this one has a happy ending—in more ways than one.

Photo via Team Coco

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*First Published: Jul 17, 2014, 1:00 pm CDT