Published Mar 31, 2015 Updated May 29, 2021, 4:46 am CDT
There were a lot of “Oh, snap” moments during last night’s Roast of Justin Bieber, but the biggest snaps came courtesy of Martha Stewart.
Here’s her full set, in which she knocks down Kevin Hart within the first 30 seconds, zings Chris D’Elia with a douche joke, then gives Justin Bieber some very solid advice for when he inevitably ends up in prison, while dissing Shaq’s mom.
She then tells Bieber he needs a “player in the boardroom and a freak in the bedroom”—specifically, her. Someone please give her an hour special on Comedy Central, and remix her set with this song.
Audra Schroeder is the Daily Dot’s senior entertainment writer, and she focuses on streaming, comedy, and music. Her work has previously appeared in the Austin Chronicle, the Dallas Observer, NPR, ESPN, Bitch, and the Village Voice. She is based in Austin, Texas.