New meme @_FloridaMan, as noted by Slate, tweets out horrific stories that contain the phrase “Florida Man” in the headline. It’s a simple but effective idea, and there’s far more material than you’d expect.
Once you delve into the stories linked below, things get downright ugly. However, it’s a lot funnier if you imagine it’s the same guy doing all of the following things on his way to winning every Darwin Award ever.
- Florida Man Arrested After Pocket-Dialing 911
- Florida Man Stabs Wife Over Hamburger
- Florida Man Busted For Performing Back Alley Butt Injections
- Florida Man Arrested For Trying To Force Fiancé To Swallow Engagement Ring (though that really should read “fiancée”)
- Florida Man Builds Mini Car For His Pet Parrot
- Florida Man Admits Biting Off Girlfriend’s Thumb
- Florida Man Repeatedly Called 911 Saying He Needed A Ride To Mexico
- Florida Man Faces Fines, Points After Bicycle Ride
- Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Man, Nocks [sic] Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
- Florida Man Owes Ex-Wife $166K in Child Support
- Police Arrest Florida Man For Drunken Joyride On Motorized Scooter At Walmart
- Florida Man Squats In Multimillion-Dollar Home
- Florida Man Finds Way To Connect With Cats
- Florida Man On Trial For Threatening To Kill President Obama On Facebook
- Florida Man Shoots Himself In Crotch With Flare Gun
- Florida Man Charged After Alleged Naked Rampage Inside Home
- Florida Man Says He’s Obama And Attempts To Abduct Children
- Florida Man Armed With Syringe Robbed Pet Store
- Florida Man Arrested For Giving Wedgies
- Florida Man’s Bulldog Found Safe After Being Dognapped At Gunpoint
The last one doesn’t fit quite as well as the others, and we wish the Twitter feed were around when a Florida man ate another guy’s face. Still, worst superhero ever.
Photo via DonkeyHotey/Flickr