We now know how much sex there will be in ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

20 minutes of sex scenes. Is that a good thing, or not? We honestly don't know any more.

Mar 1, 2020, 11:15 am*

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Gavia Baker-Whitelaw 

Gavia Baker-Whitelaw

Ever since the Fifty Shades of Grey movie was first announced, people have been wondering just how much sex will would make it into the final cut.

Now we know.

The theatrical release of Fifty Shades will reportedly include 20 minutes of sex scenes, comprising about a fifth of the film’s run time. What this actually means is a little more difficult to guess. For one thing, we already know we won’t be seeing any of what actor Jamie Dornan (Christian Grey) describes as his “todger.”

Fifty Shades is rated R in the US and 18 in the UK, making it pretty clear that it won’t be as explicit as the book. This is a genital-free movie that kids could potentially watch if they were accompanied by an adult. Granted, we’d hate to imagine the family outing that ended with butts firmly planted—in theater seats, mind you—to see Fifty Shades.

In a recent interview with the Guardian, director Sam Taylor-Johnson said, “I didn’t want it to be graphically explicit, and I know that’s going to be disappointing to some people. For me, that’s unerotic. The minute you sense penetration, it’s all over. It’s the buildup and the titillation of touch and sensuality. So I don’t think it goes into the realm of porn.”

This is presumably why she decided to leave out the infamous tampon scene.

Taylor-Johnson’s attitude reflects the realistic approach of making a movie for a mainstream audience, but it’s hard to imagine how much “sensuality” Fifty Shades can possibly achieve when its actors seem so uncomfortable with their roles. Jamie Dornan already alienated a lot of Fifty Shades fans by implying that he was grossed out when he visited a BDSM club, while Dakota Johnson said she found her nude scenes “stressful” and added that Dornan always threw a blanket over her as soon as they finished filming.

Bearing in mind these comments, will the 20 minutes of sex scenes be weirdly stilted? They’re apparently tame enough to watch at a mother and baby screening if you’re in the U.K. Just sit back and imagine that experience for a moment.

Photo via Fifty Shades Movie

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*First Published: Feb 2, 2015, 2:11 pm