Daily Fluff: Weaponized Puppy Destroys Enemies With Cuteness

If only he could have the same effect on hurricanes.

Mar 3, 2020, 1:16 am*


At a weapons expo in Arlington, VA this week, defense technology contractor Raytheon demoed its latest breakthrough: a weaponized puppy that dispatches deadly concentrated bursts of cuteness.

“Puppies were long overlooked in the defense world,” said Raytheon spokesperson Arnold La Fontaigne. “It was generally thought that dogs couldn’t be utilized in the military until they matured and were ready for tasks like bomb sniffing, cadaver recovery and scouting.  But our research has found that puppy cuteness levels, when magnified and directed, can be debilitating on the battlefield.”

La Fontaigne would not go into specifics about how his company’s puppies work, but indicated that they essentially “charm enemies to death.”

Photo via capn madd matt/Flickr

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*First Published: Oct 30, 2012, 12:13 pm