Deadline reports that comedian Mike Burns, who posts from the @DadBoner account and published a book titled Power Moves: Livin’ the American Dream, USA Style as Karl Welzein—a beer-swilling, weekend warrior alter ego—will write the project with Tim Long, a Late Show With David Letterman vet who is currently a consulting producer on The Simpsons:
On the show, Karl Welzein has developed his own philosophy of life, indulging in dangerously generous helpings of booze, fast food, and American pride. Since his wife kicked him out of the house, Karl has been crashing at his buddy Dave’s and living like a “true bad boy” with “plenty of babes”—in his own mind.
What can we expect from this potential series? Well, now seems as good a time as any to revisit some of @DadBoner’s defining tweets—and imagine them spoken aloud by a cartoon character:
If you’re drivin’ around in a convertible, wavin’ a chainsaw, nobody’s gonna say crap to ya except, “Whoa, there’s a new sheriff in town.”
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) June 28, 2012
The only therapist I talk to is Dr. Cold One, M.D. No appointment needed, you guys.
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) February 17, 2012
Just gonna write in, Springsteen/Seger 2012, on my ballot. And sign it on behalf of the USA, you guys.
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) October 4, 2012
The news only cares about sad crap. Bet if BK Chicken Fries gave you peener cancer, they’d be all over it. But “great snackin” don’t cut it.
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) August 15, 2014
Heard about the Notre Dame corncob gettin’ burned by some robot babe. Idiot. Any true bad boy needs a real feel caress, you guys.
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) January 17, 2013
Might reach out to kickstarts ’bout gettin’ a ‘Maro. If they’re givin’ out $$$ for ‘tato salad, wait’ll they hear ’bout my ‘Maro. Man.
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) July 22, 2014
My workout routine: 1. Look at a pic of Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2. Do ‘shups ’til you look like the Rattlesnake. 3. Cut off your sleeves.
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) June 7, 2012
If you think it’s “uncool” to love America, why don’t you go see how “cool” it is to live in a country that doesn’t have toilets or pizza.
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) September 12, 2012
Nothin’ gets a single mom achin’ to make another mistake like easin’ down your shades for a wink followed by a successful ‘cep flex.
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) May 11, 2014
After I got done shavin’ my mug down to babyface, Dave said, “Whoa. That’s a lotta face, Karl. A LOTTA face.” There was a point to be had.
— Karl Welzein (@DadBoner) April 20, 2014
You know what? I think basic cable is going to be just fine.