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Roughing the kicker: NFL’s Chris Kluwe tells all on Reddit
In a live-interview session on Reddit, the Minnesota Vikings punter had harsh words for Skip Bayless, Ray Lewis, and James Harrison, among several others.
Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe is already a fan favorite on the Internet for his enthusiasm for nerdy pursuits. He plays World of Warcraft and Magic: The Gathering. Last summer he even made a Downfall parody video where Hitler explains the NFL lockout. (He’s also, for what it’s worth, the best punter in Vikings history.)
Tuesday evening Kluwe headed to one of Reddit’s most active sports sections, r/NFL, to do an AMA (ask me anything) with Reddit’s pro-football fans. Kluwe’s candor, sense of humor, and geek cred were on full display.
Q. Do you think Peyton(neighton) Manning has to be a brony to go from one horse team to another? (Comradephate)
A: Definitely. There’s no way he’s not a brony.
A. A mealy mouthed no talent garbage spewing hack who has to dangle off the testicles of those who’ve actually done something with their lives because to actually attempt an athletic activity would leave him gasping for breath and weeping.
Q. So when will the Vikings make a move for Tebow?And how happy will that make you on a scale of 10 to 11? (ugnaught)
A. I have no idea if we’re going after Tebow or not, I’d imagine he’s not high on our priority list since we already have Ponder, and there’s a limit to how many people from the state of Florida you can have on one team. It would put me at “joygasm” on the scale of “teammates I can make fun of”.
Q. Funniest thing you’ve seen in practice/ before a game? (Alsoghieri)
A. I smacked Brett [Favre] in the ass really hard and I didn’t know he was mic’ed up, so after the game I had a ton of text messages from people asking what I was doing (backstory, Brett liked to sneak up on people and whack them as hard as he could, so I was giving him a little payback).
Q. What is your favorite Jared Allen story? (the_dirt)
A. When he came in during OTAs and said “Hey guys, check out this video!”. Then he showed us a youTube video of him throwing a spear at a deer. That was something you don’t see every day.
Q. What happened with the return of Randy [Moss]? How did it all fall apart? (wapples)
A. I thought Randy was a good teammate but then that Friday (which we call Junk Food Friday, where they cater in lunch) he exploded at the catering people for no reason. He didn’t even try the food, and I thought it was pretty good.
A. I can’t wait to play in that stadium to try and break that thing. I’m so upset we haven’t played there yet.
Q. I’m on offense and get cornered by Ray Lewis, James Harrison, Albert Haynesworth, and Brian Cushing. Whose tackle do I try to break/who would give me the fewest injuries upon contact? (Chamilionaire)
A. Curl up in the fetal position and don’t make eye contact. Alternatively, tell Brian Cushing that Ray Lewis stole his roids, tell Ray Lewis that if he kills James Harrison he’ll get acquitted, tell Harrison that Albert Haynesworth is the commissioner, and tell Haynesworth the rest of them have sammiches, then wait for an opening.
Photo via @ChrisWarcraft
A former senior politics reporter for the Daily Dot, Kevin Collier focuses on privacy, cybersecurity, and issues of importance to the open internet. Since leaving the Daily Dot in March 2016, he has served as a reporter for Vocativ and a cybersecurity correspondent for BuzzFeed.