No, sir. F**k YOU.
Curious about the distinction between consensual sex and non-consensual sex? Well, obviously the first person you’d ask to clarify this question is singer and The Voice judge CeeLo Green, who took to Twitter on Sunday to share his thoughts on what constitutes rape. And his argument is…well, it’s about as rational as you’d expect from someone who regularly dresses like a Muppet BDSM enthusiast.
On Friday, Green pled no contest to charges that he slipped ecstasy in a woman’s drink without her consent in 2012. The woman later woke up in Green’s bed with no memory of what had happened, though his lawyers allege that the two had consensual sex.
Green, who was not charged with sexual assault due to lack of evidence, was sentenced to three years probation and 45 days of community service—a generous sentence for someone who allegedly drugged a woman against her will, but not generous enough for Green, who felt compelled to clear his name on social media with this string of odd tweets:
In his caps lock-riddled rants, he also stated that his no contest plea was not an admission of guilt: “so if I TRIED but did NOT succeed but the person said I DID then what really happened?” He also appealed to the consciences of rape victims: “People who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!!”
Naturally, Green’s attempt to carve out a revolutionary “it’s-not-rape-if-she’s-sleeping-at-the-time” legal defense didn’t really pan out. Following protestations from his followers, the singer deleted the offending tweets—”I will not allow that negative energy to loiter on my timeline,” he tweeted—before deleting his account altogether. (As of this writing, it has not been put back up.)
According to BuzzFeed, however, he did tweet an apology before deleting his Twitter account:
“Let me 1st praise god for exoneration fairness & freedom! Secondly I sincerely apologize for my comments being taken so far out of context.”
“I only intended on a healthy exchange to help heal those who love me from the pain I had already caused from this. Please forgive me as it..”
“…was your support that got me thru this to begin with. I’d never condone the harm of any women. Thank you.”
R.I.P. CeeLo Green’s short-lived career as an iconoclastic legal strategist. His timeline may be gone, but memories of his all-caps self-defense will forever stay with us.
H/T BuzzFeed | Screengrab via CeeLo Green/YouTube