Wesley Snipes, star of White Men Can’t Jump and Demolition Man, is fairly up to date on social media for a man who spent three years in prison on a tax evasion charge. He’s on Twitter, he’s on Instagram, and yet…
What's the big hype about snapchat?
— WS (@wesleysnipes) July 21, 2016
Oh man. Why is it so funny to imagine Blade, the daywalking vampire killer, on Snapchat? I don’t know, but I can’t be alone in laughing. Anyway, Snipes’ Twitter followers weren’t all that helpful on the subject.
Big Wes, what advice do you have for the children who use the perverted Snapchat?
— Juliette Binoche – The Shaman of Sperm (@FakeTJHawke) July 21, 2016
the bee filter
— SmashMike (@Mikelennial) July 21, 2016
you can make yourself look like toast.
— What was fermented fish compared to curdled milk? (@carrotplush) July 21, 2016
You are better off using Pokemon Go
— Brad 117 (@BradWardFight) July 21, 2016
make a snapchat and post videos of your workouts.
— Randy Nicolazzo (@Randolazzo) July 21, 2016
All good answers, in their way, but we’re leaving out some of the photo-and-video-sharing app’s major points of appeal. Snapchat is great for:
- Documenting your horrific sex crimes
- Trolling the person running against you for president
- Confusing former presidents
- Making your drunk girlfriend go viral
- Mocking your children
- Being a hoe
- “Accidental” dick pics
- Lowkey racism
- Helping the government build a facial recognition database
- Embracing your loneliness
So who the hell are you to refuse, Wesley? Are you afraid, as a ’90s action icon, that you can’t hang with the teens anymore? If nothing else…
On second thought, maybe vampires don’t even appear in selfies.