Unfollow Friday: ‘How I Met Your Mother’ Edition

The appropriate response to How I Met Your Mother (TV Show, 2005 – 2014), a white nationalist know-nothing propaganda manifesto disguised as a sitcom, is self mutilation. But here’s the good news: It has now come to an end. It’s time to cordially unfollow the randoms who made it happen, and the bland actors that shoved it down through nine years of our existence.

Craig Thomas. Verified. 45.7K followers minus 1.

He created this mess. Quick unfollow. He has no cover picture on his verified Twitter page and his bio says “Co-Creator, Executive Producer of How I Met Your Mother” (still) and it’s even in his @handle too: @HimymCraig. Tough luck. This week he used more than eight tweets to say “Thank You” to his fans, then concluded with another “Thanks for this ride” tweet. Why is he describing this show as a ride? Surely it could be a series of rides and shooting days but how could it possibly be one ride?

Nobody buys this mental journey/joyful agonising story that career TV men try to sell. It was clearly a spooky ride, if any. He also has a miserable amount of followers (45K) compared to the stars he employed.

Jason Segel. Verified. 2.53M followers minus 1.

Unfollow for ungratefulness. Unlike the creator of the show, this dude didn’t even bother mentioning the finale. And his cover picture doesn’t exist either. Soz not soz. Actually he hasn’t tweeted at all since April 2012. If you’d ask him why he’d probably say he lost his password. He’s a waste of followers and sponsored tweets. It’s so annoying that active human beings still follow him – as I got this – “Followed by Georgie Jennings, Adam B. Vary, Kumail Nanjiani and 32 others” at the top. Travesty. His second-before-last post:

Alyson Hannigan. Verified. 893K followers minus 1.

Her name on Twitter is bloody lowercased – “alyson hannigan” – so troubling I can’t even react to any of her tweets or digest her sosh media presence. Soz.

Cobie Smulders. Verified. 609K followers minus 1.

She celebrated herself being on the cover of Self magazine. Unfollow. Defollow. Imfollow. And then she retweeted BRAVO. Big no no. Plus, Ms Smulders is trying to promote her official Facebook page by constantly linking to it at the top. Facebook official pages as a whole are so not happening. It looks like this lady shared her Twitter password with her agent. Another big no no.

Alyson Hannigan photo by Richard Gillin / Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Nimrod Kamer

Nimrod Kamer

Nimrod Kamer is a journalist and satirist based in the U.K. whose work has appeared in the GQ, Vice, Wired, the Guardian and Huffington Post, as well as on BBC Newsnight. He is the author of The Social Climber's Handbook: A Shameless Guide.