Here’s a poem crafted from Tumblr email subject lines

I’m on Tumblr pretty much all day—you might even say it’s my job—so I don’t exactly need curatorial biweekly emails from their staff about what’s been on my dashboard lately. Still, I would never unsubscribe from these updates; I’m too addicted to the vague and innocuous subject lines, expertly crafted to invite clicks without saying anything at all.

Offering apologies to Walt Whitman (see main art for photo), I proudly present “O Tumblr! My Tumblr!”—a brief poetic ode to the blogging service preferred by liberal arts nerds everywhere, molded from the last two months of Tumblr’s generic self-promotions.

Hey. What’s up?
You should see what’s happening on Tumblr
Did you see this?
Right now on Tumblr

Wow wow wow.
Wow. What a week!
Special delivery from your Tumblr Dashboard
Right now on Tumblr

Wow. What a week!
Did you see this?
Brilliant.
Make your Dashboard even more awesome

Hey. What’s up?
Wow wow wow.
It’s all happening
Your Dashboard is literally on fire.

I’ll expect my Nobel Prize for found-materials collage in the mail, thanks.