- Facebook could face legal action over the Area 51 event Thursday 6:50 PM
- How to stream Texans vs. Chargers in NFL Week 3 action Thursday 6:40 PM
- Tekashi 69 alleges Cardi B was a Bloods gang member Thursday 5:55 PM
- Right-wing sites falsely claimed group of Somalis attacked man in viral video Thursday 5:00 PM
- Big creators risk losing checkmarks amid YouTube verification purge Thursday 4:56 PM
- How to stream Eagles vs. Lions in NFL Week 3 action Thursday 4:52 PM
- How to stream Steelers vs. 49ers in NFL Week 3 action Thursday 4:10 PM
- How to stream Bills vs. Bengals in NFL Week 3 action Thursday 4:03 PM
- Colt halts production of AR-15s for civilians Thursday 3:45 PM
- If you love long-winded, hashtag-heavy Instagram captions, these apps can help Thursday 2:54 PM
- Teen girls on TikTok have convinced the internet that they eat their tampons Thursday 2:33 PM
- Twitch streamer faces criticism for trying to defend racist jokes Thursday 2:03 PM
- How to stream Raiders vs. Vikings in Week 3 Thursday 12:55 PM
- NRA calls Beto O’Rourke ‘AR-15 salesman of the month’ in wake of buyback proposal Thursday 12:03 PM
- After 23 deaths, Sean Bean is tired of getting killed on-screen Thursday 11:48 AM
Should toys be anatomically correct? Maybe yes, maybe no. Should a toy horse have a tiny, humanlike penis and balls? That’s a big nope. And if you think the question is only theoretical, I’ve got a toy horse to show you.
The horse first came to everyone’s attention when Bob Velcoro’s daughter got a collection of toy animals for Christmas. “The gorilla, lion, zebra, giraffe, pig, and sheep do not have dicks. Only the horse,” he wrote.
Only the horse, with its weird little man-sized dick and testicles, an affront to nature itself. Perhaps you could argue that the horse peepee is part of an effort to normalize animal anatomy in a culture that’s still weirdly puritan after all these years. But the consensus seems to be that there’s nothing normal about that equine wangdoodle.
Survey says: The dick is bad. Even extremely good musician Neko Case agrees.
According to the Huffington Post, the toy is sold by a Canadian company called Battat. The company has yet to comment on why some of its animals have genitals, and why some of those genitals look unsettlingly human.
Good news for the horse, though: There’s a similar toy horse with a vagina out there, and she’s down to meet up.
Best of luck, you crazy kids.
Jay Hathaway is a former senior writer who specialized in internet memes and weird online culture. He previously served as the Daily Dot’s news editor, was a staff writer at Gawker, and edited the classic websites Urlesque and Download Squad. His work has also appeared on nymag.com, suicidegirls.com, and the Morning News.