Tim Howard becomes the new U.S. Secretary of Defense on Wikipedia

'Brick wall' would also be appropriate.

Mar 2, 2020, 1:58 am*

Internet Culture


Ramon Ramirez

Tim Howard played leading man Tuesday in the United States’ thrilling, lion-roaring loss to Belgium in the World Cup. The guy stared down a bundle of English Premier League (EPL) talent and made 16 saves, each more impressive than its predecessor. That is also the most saves in a World Cup since they began recording that statistic 50 years ago.

Wikipedia users rewarded Howard’s Hulk-smash performance by briefly naming him U.S. Secretary of Defense Tuesday night. No disrespect to Chuck Hagel (who actually holds that title), but Howard may be more deserving.

Of course, Howard’s Wikipedia page has been edited so that it no longer provides him such a lofty title, which is a shame. Even Belgian captain Vincent Kompany made it a point to highlight the U.S. goalie’s valiant feat.

Unfortunately for Howard—who also led the EPL in saves last season for the English club Everton—Tuesday likely marked the end of his World Cup career. The same goes for much of the U.S. men’s national soccer team, including Clint Dempsey, Jermaine Jones, DeMarcus Beasley, Geoff Cameron, Kyle Beckerman, Graham Zusi, and Chris Wondolowski. 

Sad as we are to see them go, the future should be all roses. Russia 2018 looks to feature a core of breakout prospects and surefire veterans that includes Jozy Altidore, DeAndre Yedlin, Omar Gonzalez, John Brooks, Timothy Chandler, Fabian Johnson, Michael Bradley, Mix Diskerud, Alejandro Bedoya, Matt Besler, Aron Johansson and Julian Green—the 19-year-old who scored the only U.S. goal against Belgium.

Photo via Philipp Zachl/Wikipedia

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*First Published: Jul 2, 2014, 9:48 am