Most blossoming young women, when educated on the ways of lovemaking, are advised that it’s very important to use the lavatory post-coitus. Peeing after sex flushes out bacteria that travels up the urethra and into the bladder where it can cause a urinary tract infection. This is especially important for women because we have a shorter urethra than men do, which means the bacteria has less of a distance to travel.
According to Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai M.D. Alan B. Copperman, “Sex is often associated with UTIs because sexual intercourse introduces bacteria through the urethra and into a woman’s urinary tract.”
Now that we’ve gotten that bit of housekeeping out of the way, allow me to direct your attention to this perfect tweet from the even more perfect Twitter handle @trashychick, which went viral earlier this week.
Clearly playing off of UTI, the joke is clever and succinct. However, as the tweet exploded (currently retweeted over 75,000 times), people began coming up with their own absurd takes of other ways disaster can strike if you don’t pee after sex, and it officially became a meme.
pee after sex or else you’ll get another U2 album automatically added to your phone.
— 𝐉𝐨𝐞 (@muhcoochee) July 19, 2018
Pee after sex or get 4G LTE for the whole family
— jonathan (@JonxthxnA) July 20, 2018
pee after sex or you'll get a loved one who's been diagnosed with mesothelioma that may be entitled to a financial compensation
— zak (@dynamiteshovelx) July 18, 2018
And then naturally the meme devolved into the completely nonsensical:
Pee after having sex with a baseball player or you’ll get an RBI
— Steve Carlsburg (@_mythopoeia) July 18, 2018
Pee after sex or else you will get a D to the E to the L-I-C-I-O-U-S
— Baja Blast (@YOLOBISCUIT) July 19, 2018
make sure you pee after sex or the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore
— padihams thickest neck (@zach2302) July 19, 2018
Pee after sex or you might get J. G. Wentworth 877-CASH-NOW
— Lil2Pumpz (@Dj__IllWill) July 19, 2018
Pee after sex or you’ll get a UTI (Universal Technical Institute, Your Success Starts Here)
— cody 🦝 (@CdyRnkn) July 19, 2018
Hey, if nothing else, perhaps this meme will shed some light on the scourge that is a UTI. Good news for women, bad news for cranberry juice manufacturers.