Best business ever will put a penis on your competition’s logo

Shut up and tell me how to invest.

Jun 23, 2020, 7:06 pm*

Internet Culture

Miles Klee 

Miles Klee

This article contains sexually explicit content.

Starting a new business is tough, and if you think sound planning or hard work is going to keep the wolves from the door, you’re dead wrong. Only the geniuses of Penised, a “graphic” design service that will artfully insert male genitalia into your competitor’s logo, can save you.

For $25 to $35, these folks will creatively cock up any corporate imagery you like. “Can you think of a better way to stick it to someone?” they ask. “No matter what age or gender, penises never get old (figuratively speaking).” Their gorgeous work samples confirm as much:

In an interview with Adweek, the site’s anonymous founders said that they hit upon the idea while “having a couple of beers and doodling some logo concepts for an app we were about to build.” Penised quickly went viral and received 1,000 résumés from dong-happy designers within a week of launching. And while the pair doesn’t care about offending any brand’s delicate sensibility, they know that it’s a matter of time before some dick ruins everyone’s fun:

We consulted with an attorney prior to this endeavor. Basically, if you look at our terms, all work should be considered parody and therefore should be OK. However, we recognize how litigious this country is and are well aware someone will probably take legal action at some point.

So don’t delay! Order your schlongified logo today—and tell them not to skimp on the pubes.

H/T Adweek | Photo via Sir Mo/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

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*First Published: Mar 24, 2015, 6:39 pm