Whether an individual is willingly or hopelessly single, happily or unhappily coupled, at some point in life just about everyone goes through a sex dry spell. Maybe it’s been a few months since you got laid. Or a few years. Or maybe your entire life has been one long, continuous dry spell. (In which case we express our deepest sympathies.)
We get it, and you’re not alone. And so does Twitter, which is collectively empathizing with these “days without sex” memes.
It takes some balls, pun intended, for some people to come clean about how long it’s been since they’ve dipped their wick—or vice versa. So what better way to lighten the mood than with a bit of humor?
The format is pretty simple. All anyone needs to do to play along is detail how many numbers of days they’ve gone without sex, and then what lengths they’ve gone to (or lows they’ve sunk) given the sad state of affairs.
Day 71 without sex: my smart watch thinks I’ve jogged 3 miles today but I havent left the hosue
— Joey McGuire (@m_cGuire) July 13, 2018
https://twitter.com/memesluttt/status/1018307558946177024
Day 16 without sex and im constantly drinking boba just so I can have balls in my mouth
— VY T NGUYEN (@theywantduhv) July 16, 2018
Day 631 without sex: This ceiling titty in my room is looking might fine…. pic.twitter.com/vx3Qc2RnbS
— JG♤ (@Mr_Gillette) July 17, 2018
https://twitter.com/kmichelllle/status/1018276733177430016
day 213 without sex: plugged my charger into my phone and whispered “you like that?”
— David Allen (@allen88_d) July 16, 2018
https://twitter.com/AshYarham1/status/1018926758333222912
https://twitter.com/prettyflaca/status/1018435984030040065
Day 1738 without sex: threw the blue shell in Mario Kart while I was already in first place to remember what it’s like to get hit from behind
— ness (@buggerville69) July 17, 2018
And then there was this exceptionally bleak response:
Day 0 without sex: life fucks me everyday
— D.J.THOMPSON (@Dalton_AFarrier) July 17, 2018
To everyone else, congrats on the sex. Hopefully, the rest of these poor souls won’t be far behind.
Note from the Bazaar: Looking to end the drought? Check out our guide to vibrators, the best sex toys on Amazon, or our favorite bullet vibrators. If you need more inspiration, read more NSFW content here.