Article Lead Image

Screengrab via CNN/YouTube

CNN caption offers definitive proof that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer

The full truth is within our grasp.

 

Gabe Bergado

Internet Culture

Posted on May 4, 2016   Updated on May 26, 2021, 8:30 pm CDT

After losing the Indiana Republican presidential primary to Donald Trump on Tuesday night, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz announced that he was dropping out of the race for the White House. And while the celebrations of Cruz exiting the election have varied, there’s one thing that we can all be happy about: the truth.

AS CNN showed Cruz’s farewell speech, we discovered further proof that Ted Cruz is indeed the Zodiac Killer. Here at the Daily Dot, we’ve dedicated ourselves to uncovering with certainty Cruz’s double life as the infamous murderer. From being one of the first outlets to pursue the truth to investigating Google’s complicity in the coverup, there’s no evidence of Cruz’s gore-filled past that we haven’t carefully examined.

But even we were amazed to see a major hint about his true nature in CNN’s onscreen caption.

Did you catch it? Come on, it’s right in front of your eyes. Wake up and smell the conspiracy, sheeple! Here, let us spell it out for you. You’ll be mad at your own obliviousness for missing it. 

[Placeholder for https://www.facebook.com/TedCruzIsTheZodiacKiller/photos/a.1672181673038667.1073741828.1668429560080545/1722510564672444/?type=3&theater embed.]

Now that Cruz has more time to focus on slaughter, none of us are safe. Especially me after writing this—there’s a target on my back. If I go missing, you all know what happened. Stay woke out there, kiddos.

Then again, with Trump now the presumptive Republican nominee, none of us are all that safe.  

Share this article
*First Published: May 4, 2016, 10:23 am CDT