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This streaker, with a monkey face penis pouch, deserves the Olympic gold medal
At this year’s 2018 Winter Olympics, anything is possible. Openly gay competitors can take the gold, Olympians can dress like superheroes, and us regular folks can reclaim the event to boast about our selfies. Even world famous streakers have a shot at making history this year.
Mark Roberts, a British man known for streaking around the world, crashed the men’s 1,000-meter speed skating event in PyeongChang with a message of “peace + love” on his chest—and a very tasteful monkey-shaped penis pouch—on Friday.
Unfortunately for Roberts, he entered the ice equipped with only a sense of humor. It took only a few moments before he lost his balance and fell on his face in front of thousands of people. Lucky for us, there’s Instagram footage to prove it.
Obviously, Twitter went wild about the performance.
I see trees of green, red roses too
I see monkey pouches for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world https://t.co/eTIdw7re1p
— Bobby George (@rag_lake73) February 24, 2018
Sometimes in the midst of the terrible things that are happening daily in this world we need someone to remind us about the importance of peace, love and monkey face dick pouches… https://t.co/LlakAdwd4q
— Bocky Moll (@Becklestein) February 24, 2018
Not all heroes wear capes.
Some wear tutus. https://t.co/nP3o5iBdMG
— [gobsmacked] (@nwchap) February 24, 2018
God give me the confidence of this man https://t.co/8PKxUoMBsK
— Andrea González-Ramírez (@andreagonram) February 23, 2018
Have you ever seen a fat guy in a tutu try to streak the Olympics with his wiener tucked firmly in a monkey penis holder?
That's how it went down at the Men's 1,000m Speed Skating event in Pyeongchang early Friday morning, and it was glorious. pic.twitter.com/BNeciVfkps
— Stone Cold (@stonecold2050) February 23, 2018
The Olympics, Where you can watch the best of the best. Compete in there world class sport. Going head-to-head for their country. Oh and also where you can want a 40 year old dude streak across the ice. https://t.co/lpKK2P3bCu #Olympics #Olympics2018
— Kody Cassell (@KodyCassell) February 24, 2018
I just read a head line that said "world famous streaker crashed the Olympics" I kept scrolling at first but then it hit me, did that just say WORLD FAMOUS STREAKER? …yes it did.
— Savannah Cromwell (@schristine93) February 24, 2018
So that professional streaker spotted at the #Olympics is none other than Mark Roberts from the UK. He has streaked in 22 countries at 562 events including Super Bowls.
My new hero 😂 pic.twitter.com/c2au8OoqjZ
— Troy (@Troy_beer30) February 24, 2018
In case you were wondering, this isn’t Roberts first streak—it’s not even his second or third. It looks like he’s streaked at about 562 sporting events, according to Yahoo Sports. One of his more notable streaks was in 2004 when he streaked during Super Bowl XXXVIII in Houston.
But in front of the entire world, his attempt Friday might have been the most ballsy yet. The monkey pouch would probably agree.
Tess Cagle is a reporter who focuses on politics, lifestyle, and streaming entertainment. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Texas Monthly, the Austin American-Statesman, Damn Joan, and Community Impact Newspaper. She’s also a portrait, events, and live music photographer in Central Texas.