A public pooper helped Twitter finally sh*t out some good tweets

Man holding toilet paper on street

Photo via andriano.cz/Shutterstock (Licensed)

This morning, a news wire service in the U.K. dropped a doozy of a tweet.

The account didn’t link to any story or police report, so we aren’t really any closer to catching this man. But that’s not terribly important. What is important is all the poo puns that were flung back at Court News UK.

Get it? It’s because it’s poo. And poo is No. 2.

Get it? Because shit is poo.

Get it? Because getting to the “bottom” of something means solving it, but also bottom is where the poo comes out of.

Do you get it?

It’s because poo smells and that’s also a metaphor for something not being on the level.

Because an escaping criminal would flee fast enough in a getaway car to leave burnt rubber on the road, which is what skid marks are, and also because skid marks are poo.

Then there was this lady, who was just happy about the picture.

https://twitter.com/wonder_o_woman/status/839098088379801600

Such sincere enthusiasm for a picture of a person pooping!

Now that is a thing of beauty.

David Covucci

David Covucci

David Covucci is the Layer 8 editor at the Daily Dot, covering the intersection of politics and the web. His work has appeared in Vice, the Huffington Post, Jezebel, Gothamist, and other publications. He is particularly interested in hearing any tips you have. Reach out at [email protected]