All of the Oxford Dictionaries’ new Internet slang in one swole sentence

Looking for some glanceable, shareable, snackable content, or just a cute fur baby, all I could rly find were photo galleries of manspreading, a hangry weightlifting YouTuber bragging about how swole he’s getting, and subreddits for boring-ass debates on spear phishing and how to hack a blockchain, so I fired up Call of Duty and pretended to be a butthurt SJW until some rando redditor pwned me by blowing my head off while saying I probably had resting bitch face and wasn’t worth a pity butt-dial, which I guess is the reaction I wanted, but even so I thought damn bruh you can’t do anything besides rage-quit after a mic drop like that.    

H/T Jezebel | Photo via Ryk Neethling/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)   

Miles Klee

Miles Klee

Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions,  and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'