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Party without consequence above the DMZ.
In yet another scientific milestone to come from north of the DMZ, the North Korean government claims to have invented a liquor that gives drinkers all of the party with none of the hangover!
According to NK News, the DPRK media released a statement about a ginseng-based miracle liquid perfected by the Taedonggang Foodstuff Factory. Researchers replaced sugar with scorched rice. “Koryo Liquor, which is made of six-year-old Kaesong Koryo insam [ginseng], known as being highest in medicinal effect, and the scorched rice, is highly appreciated by experts and lovers as it is suave and causes no hangovers,” reported the state-sponsored Pyongyang Times.
According to NK News, the Korean Central News Agency hinted at the incredible drink in an August 2015 article, calling it the “elixir of life.” If that’s the case, then one would hope the Koryo Liquor will be the key to fostering peace between the dictatorial country and the rest of the Western world. Come on, Kim Jong-un Just crack open some Koryo and hash it out with the United Nations. Everyone will have a guilt-free good time, and you won’t have to pay for it in the morning.
In recent years, North Korean scientists have deprived the world of even greater scientific discoveries, most notably a drug that cures Ebola, cancer, and AIDS in June 2015. Naturally, the drug, called Kumdang-2, uses ginseng, as well as a mix of other chemicals undisclosed by the DPRK.
This so-called “golden sugar” is available for purchase at koreabud.com. No word yet on where to buy Koryo Liquor, so it looks like we’ll have to subsist on morning cheeseburgers (invented by the late Kim Jong-il) until then.
Feliks Garcia was a reporter and essayist whose work for the Daily Dot focused on social justice issues, internet culture, and the Rock. He was a staff writer for the Independent when he passed away in February 2017 after suffering a heart attack. He was 33.