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There’s an NHL player named Brad Marchand, and he likes to lick his opponents
Watch out NHL players: There’s a serial licker among you.
His name is Brad Marchand, and he plays for the Boston Bruins. And apparently, he has a taste for human flesh.
It’s the second time Marchand has licked an opponent during the postseason, and understandably, fellow hockey players aren’t enjoying it.
Marchand later defended himself by saying Ryan Callahan, the unfortunate man who was licked, had hit him in the face four times previously. But Tampa Bay Lightning coach Jon Cooper said, via the Boston Herald, “There is absolutely no place in our game for that. I don’t get it, I don’t understand it.”
The internet seems to mostly agree. People also made plenty of jokes.
Another nickname to add to Brad Marchand's extensive list: Oral B
— Michael Farber (@MichaelFarber3) May 5, 2018
Ryan Callahan on being licked by Brad Marchand: “I don’t know what the difference is between that and spitting in someone’s face.”
— Chris Johnston (@reporterchris) May 5, 2018
If Brad Marchand tried to lick me I would full blown make out with him. Call that pussy’s bluff.
— Chris Howard (@Chrishowrad) May 5, 2018
2022: Brad Marchand has received a 10 minute misconduct for eating Claude Giroux’s ass after the whistle
— round 4 tweeter (@stace_ofbase) May 5, 2018
“It’s really strange.” – Pierre McGuire. pic.twitter.com/s9LzTakpHz
— Chris Mason (@ByChrisMason) May 5, 2018
it’s not funny or amusing that Brad Marchand keeps licking people. it’s disgusting and childish.
— mike darnay (@MikeDarnay) May 5, 2018
Brad Marchand pic.twitter.com/XtesPTtfxm
— 9 Wins To Go (@StamkosFan_91) May 5, 2018
Brad Marchand was that weird kid in elementary school who would eat boogers for a dollar. pic.twitter.com/bPYlw8RzEX
— Penguins Jesus (@PenguinsJesus) May 5, 2018
It also led to this all-of-a-sudden relevant question. What’s the difference between Marchand and DJ Khaled? Here’s how one Twitter user answered.
DJ Khaled won’t lick someone who wants to be licked. Brad Marchand licks people that don’t want to be licked. Send tweet.
— DL (@davelozo) May 5, 2018
Josh Katzowitz is a staff writer at the Daily Dot specializing in YouTube and boxing. His work has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, and Los Angeles Times. A longtime sports writer, he's covered the NFL for CBSSports.com and boxing for Forbes. His work has been noted twice in the Best American Sports Writing book series.