Pushin’ up the ante.
Over the years, the band Motorhead has offered punk rock, metal, a blueprint for misbehavior, a modernized aesthetic of the West, proof of immortality in the presence of lead singer Lemmy Kilmister, voices for video games, vodka, and figurines. Finally, it can add “vibrator” to that list.
That’s right, there is now a Motorhead-branded vibrator called the Ace of Spades, named after the band’s most famous song, and another called Overkill. They are available in seven-inch and bullet variations. If there were ever a sex toy line for the muttonchops-and-moles crowd, this is it.
“The official pleasure collection” (“pleasure tools that rock”) is available from dildonics manufactory Lovehoney. The company’s copy is like a crash course in sweet talk.
“Powerful classic vibrators and bullets are amongst the line up, each packing a powerful punch that captures the rock and roll lifestyle of the band perfectly,” the promotional material explains. “Prepare for the sort of mind-blowing orgasms you’d expect from the ‘loudest band on Earth.’”
Hear that, ladies? Just think of your gear as Roberto Durán’s face and this thing as Sugar Ray Leonard’s right.
“One of the songs on our debut album was called ‘Vibrator,’” Lemmy told NME, “so we had to have our own one day, right? Apparently, it was worth the wait!”
Lemmy has a reputation as a lady’s man. Although the device in question was not modeled after him—barring a truly heinous genital melting he’s kept secret—it’s possible that its dimensions (although which?) and its reliability were.
One thing’s for sure: We’re not going to ask him.