The best lies we’ve told our parents

Fibs preserve family harmony—as long as you don't get caught. Twitter turned up some whoppers from our collective childhoods Monday.


Jennifer Abel

Internet Culture

Published Mar 26, 2012   Updated Jun 2, 2021, 7:30 pm CDT

As children, we all learned the maxim that honesty is the best policy. Then we grew up and got Twitter accounts.

Now that we’re all adults, we rely on little white lies—”I love the sweater Grandma knitted for me!”—to preserve family diplomacy. On Monday, the hashtag #LiesIveToldMyParents started trending on Monday. How many of these have you uttered?

Baroness A Davenport (@stamolka) recalled saying “when I was 8: ‘I just found a four-leaf clover!’ Turns out, it was a three-leaf clover with a leaf I ripped in half.”

Niko (@greek_neek) wasn’t truthful when he said, “I’m sober and no I didn’t just pee off the roof.”

We doubt Kieran Hobler (@Krib_Notes) really tried telling his parents, “You’re both adopted.” But it’s a good line.

mR.KOJOtwiSt ‏  (@iam_kaytwist) wrote: “Parents accused me of #LiesIveToldMyParents. I looked them in the face & said “Tooth Fairy, Santa, Easter Bunny” & walked away like a boss.”

Skinny PrettyBoy™ ‏(@Pretty_Boy804): “The whole class failed mama!”

SaraBaili Schmitt (@SaraBaili): “1:It wasn’t me 2:I did clean my room! Someone must have messed it up? 3: I went to sleep at 10 lastnight!”

Lucy Chow (@Lucy_Chow): “I cleaned my room mom! (everything’s shoved into my closet)”

Queen (@ markitamariexox): “I’m not high (as I’m in the fridge looking for some munchies) lol”

Jackie Tejada (@sweetjackie11)’s lie deserves to be retweeted with the hashtag #WhyDidntWeThinkOfThat?: “Me: Bet you can’t sign your name blindfolded? Dad: Yes I can.. *Gives him my report card to sign*”

And everyone who’s ever been a kid has told the same lie as Killa-Kam (@iamKamDadi): “I forgot.”

Photo by lentzstudios

Share this article
*First Published: Mar 26, 2012, 5:50 pm CDT