Screengrab via wwwayward/YouTube

La Croix porn has been willed into existence by America’s horniness for seltzer

How refreshing!

Feb 28, 2020, 9:58 pm*

Internet Culture

Jay Hathaway 

Jay Hathaway

This article contains sexually explicit material and may be NSFW.

Sparkling water brand La Croix is at the tail end of its run as the trendy beverage to drink and tweet about, but it hasn’t left the zeitgeist yet. Some people are still obsessed with it… in a sexual way?

The old, reliable Rule 34 of the internet tells us that if it exists, there’s porn of it. And thanks to the unstoppable horniness of human beings, La Croix porn is now a thing that exists. 

“La Croixxx” is safe for YouTube, but it’s certainly not safe for work, thanks to a delightful(?) twist near the end. Not the refreshing, lemony kind, either.

All I can say is that you brought this on yourself, America. Enjoy masturbating to enticingly-lit flavored water!

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*First Published: Oct 20, 2016, 5:37 pm