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La Croix porn has been willed into existence by America’s horniness for seltzer

la croix porn parody

Screengrab via wwwayward/YouTube

How refreshing!

This article contains sexually explicit material and may be NSFW.

Sparkling water brand La Croix is at the tail end of its run as the trendy beverage to drink and tweet about, but it hasn’t left the zeitgeist yet. Some people are still obsessed with it… in a sexual way?

The old, reliable Rule 34 of the internet tells us that if it exists, there’s porn of it. And thanks to the unstoppable horniness of human beings, La Croix porn is now a thing that exists. 

“La Croixxx” is safe for YouTube, but it’s certainly not safe for work, thanks to a delightful(?) twist near the end. Not the refreshing, lemony kind, either.

All I can say is that you brought this on yourself, America. Enjoy masturbating to enticingly-lit flavored water!

Jay Hathaway

Jay Hathaway

Jay Hathaway is a former senior writer who specialized in internet memes and weird online culture. He previously served as the Daily Dot’s news editor, was a staff writer at Gawker, and edited the classic websites Urlesque and Download Squad. His work has also appeared on nymag.com, suicidegirls.com, and the Morning News.